You meet a man and the two of you immediately hit it off. He asks you out to dinner and you gladly oblige. He isn’t like anyone you have met before. He must be the one. You start thanking your lucky stars.

He doesn’t let you finish your ‘thank yous’. "I have to be honest with you,” he says, "I have a girlfriend.”

You are disappointed but at least he was frank about his relationship status, right? The two of you then dive into a conversation in which his girlfriend is the villain, he is the victim and you are his knight in shining amour. 

Throughout the night, you hear phrases such as; "I haven’t laughed like this in a long time. She is always stressing me out.” You pat yourself on the shoulder. 

For days to come, he flirts with you, he takes you out, he leans on you. He asks you for favours. He complains about his girlfriend and you listen and counsel him. But he doesn’t leave her. 

If/when you ask him why he lets someone treat him that way, his simple answer is, "I don’t know.” But trust me, he knows. 

So if you’re convincing yourself that by being everything he claims his girlfriend isn’t, he is going to come running into your arms, think again.

He is not looking for love and he is certainly not looking for a relationship. So exactly where do you fit in, in all of this? Well, let me just put it to you as honestly as possible; you’re sort of like his therapist, only that you do extra hours and provide extra services but there’s no payment. 

He’s never going to leave his ‘terrible girlfriend.’ He may say things like "Oh I wish I had met you before,” but what’s wrong with now? You’re here now and he’s not married therefore he can still be with you. And it’s not as if staying with her is a matter of life and death. 

He may also say to you: "I’m envious of the man who gets to marry you.” But why can’t he marry you? And if he doesn’t plan on marrying you, shouldn’t he stop wasting the time you could be spending getting to know the man who will supposedly be lucky to have you?

And don’t be surprised when he sends you an invitation letter to his wedding. When that happens, you will have no right to be angry because he didn’t commit to anything and you didn’t demand for anything. 

Do this information what you will. You could continue to give free therapy sessions (and more) and then end up soaking your poor pillow with salty water. Or you could kick that undecided time-waster to the curb.

Why am I sharing all of this? Because my future husband is out still there making empty promises to other girls and spending our money for the beach house on them. 

As I wait for him to come to his senses, I might as well distract myself by doing some acts of kindness towards my sisters in the struggle.