We are only two children at home and we are very close. However, my father openly favours my young sister because she’s more intelligent than me and ‘makes him proud’. As a result, he showers her with praises and gifts which he doesn’t do for me. This is slowly affecting my relationship with my beloved sister and father yet I wouldn’t  want that to happen. How can I manage the situation before it affects my studies?

Anonymous

Although you feel unfairly treated by your father, I commend you for not allowing your feelings to turn into resentment for your sister. In most cases, it’s hard to control how your parents should treat you, but it’s possible to influence their perception about you. Continue obeying and respecting your parents despite what they do to you, and always keep a smile while relating with them or carrying out the tasks they have assigned you.

Also find some time with your parents and express your feelings to them, they might not know how much their discriminatory actions hurt you. Try to avoid pointing fingers at them if you are going to have a productive conversation. You need to find comfort in knowing that you have tried everything possible to have your parents’ attention.

You should, however, always remember that a parent will always be a parent and always wishes the best for their children.  In fact it is common for some children to think that their parents hate them yet it is the opposite. Therefore I encourage you to maintain a positive attitude towards your sister and father. I am sure if you have a chat with them about your concern, they will do things much better in future.

YOU DEBATE

Deborah Nyamwiza, student                                         

I only see one solution to your worries: hard work. If you pull up your socks, your grades will definitely improve and attract your father’s attention hence rekindling the lost love. Instead of complaining, just get down to work.

Emmy Shyaka, student

Make sure you don’t allow emotions to overpower you because it could result into hatred for your father and sister. Simply use your sister’s success and what she gets from your father in turn to inspire you work hard.

Janet Mutesi, student    

Whatever is happening at the moment though absurd, should not be a basis for hatred because you will always need your family. I advise that you get even closer to your sister and learn her secret to success.

Salim Niyigena, student    

Talk to your father about how his actions hurt you. Tell him that you, too, need his love and inspiration in order to work even harder at school. You might find that he is not even aware that he is treating you differently from your young sister.