I find it hard to talk about my feelings and thoughts to my friends and family. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and cry quietly. In fact last week I thought of committing suicide and this is now worrying me. Please help.

Sarah

Talking out is one of the most powerful ways that nature has given us to express our feelings. It is very therapeutic to share your feelings with a trustworthy person, like a friend, teacher, counsellor, or a support person. Knowing how to express feelings tactfully is vital if you want to feel close to people and be able to sustain your intimate relationships. They should be the people who are willing to listen to your feelings without evaluating or judging you. Depressed people, who don’t have any family member to talk to, at least get linked with friends to establish friendly relationships by developing trust and this helps the person to open up eventually and share what is bothering them. This requires that you reciprocate by being emotionally and mentally available for them when they need you especially when making tough decisions, or are having a crisis in their lives.

Sometimes it is helpful to vent your feelings in writing. Facilitate expression of feelings in an indirect and subtle manner by jotting some short and friendly messages either by telephone, email or handwritten to a family member or friend you trust. By creating this social network, you will be introducing yourself as a charming and outgoing friend who needs love and care in return. Discharge sadness and anger which often suggests feelings of emptiness and resentment. This is the most pervasive emotion that leads to anxiety. Nevertheless self defeating behaviours, such as excessive criticism, passive aggressive behaviours, blaming others and worries about the future instead of enjoying life could also be signs of withholding anger. No single person can go through this life figuring out tough situations singlehandedly. Don’t dare commit suicide. Seek companionship and advice from others.

YOU DEBATE

Jenifer Urugeni, student

I’m glad you found the courage to share your situation with us. I encourage you to use the same courage to talk to a close family member or friend about what you are going through. It is through talking that you will find peace and joy.

Janvier Hitayesu, student                                    

 It’s normal to feel like people around you don’t understand you. However, you need to find at least one person to trust otherwise problems will overwhelme you one day.

Fionah Munezero, student 

Give your parents a chance to get involved in your life because they have probably gone through even worse situations than yours and can therefore give you the best advice.

James Kabera, employee ASL                                                    

Sarah, there are very many people who are in a similar dilemma but the difference is how you choose to look at life. If you choose to look at life with a positive attitude, you will feel much better and soon get out of that situation.