Feminism is no longer about equality

I know that this is probably going to upset some people but someone has got to say it. Have feminists lost track of what is important? I must say yes, some of them really have.

What is even more alarming is that the number of those who have lost track of what feminism is originally all about is increasing. Sadly, in the process, something that is supposed to actually be great is now garnering fame for being a movement of seemingly angry, disgruntled, and mostly single men-bashing women.

Feminism is originally supposed to be about seeking to establish equal opportunities between men and women.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for women and men getting equal opportunities but I am not going to sit here and naively think that I can ever be equal to a man and I am sure most men also know that the reverse is true.

That said, I also think that by seeking to be equal to a man, these feminists are undermining our abilities as women. What I believe is that men have things that they can do that I can’t and I am sure men are also aware that there are things that I can do that they can’t. I for instance know that I can be pregnant, I can produce and I can breast feed. I have the power to do that and a man doesn’t. Why should I scream and shout for validation?

Why do I need a movement to remind me that I am a strong, independent woman? Why do I have to argue with every man to drive my point across? The fact that I know my strength is enough. I don’t need a label or a tag and I most definitely don’t need a movement to know who I am or what my capabilities are.

I think what needs to be done is for someone to really hammer it down in feminists’ heads that equal opportunities are possible but men and women being equal in the large scope of things is impossible. Our abilities have never been the same; whether physically, emotionally or any other way.

Secondly, we do not have to fight for equal opportunities. What feminists need to stop doing is playing the victim card. We need to learn how to go after what we want. This should not be a competition. If feminism is indeed about equal opportunities, why do these people always want to fight men? What is the importance of trying to challenge the opposite sex? The way forward should be the opposite. Involve the men. Talk to them. Appeal to their humanity because most of them have sisters, wives, mothers and most importantly, daughters. If I feel that my boss is not treating me fairly, my first instinct should not be that because I am a woman. Have I checked my performance form? How many complaints have come in because of me? The moment the fight for equality comes in form of blackmail or victim mentality, then the original noble cause is actually dead.

Of course there are chauvinist men out here but it is important that these women understand that not all men are the same and not everyone is out to get them. Some feminists want people to believe that men have no respect for women yet ultimately most men respect the role of a mother over and above that of a woman hell bent on disproving a man’s worth.

I am raising a girl. I do not want my daughter growing up thinking that she has to be part of a movement of angry women to get where she wants to be. If she should have any anger, it should be that a boy in class did better and that anger should drive her to work harder next time. I want her to know that if she is to be respected, she must first of all respect herself, and she must treat everybody with respect. I want her to know that she must study hard, work hard and earn her position in any company like any other person, not because she is a woman. I do not want my child to act like a victim at all.

True feminists don’t pose as victims, and they believe in gender equality. The ones you see on the internet and other gatherings shouting on top of their voices have very different goals, and I doubt those goals include gender equality.

Feminists are freedom fighters with a cause!

It’s a common attribute that freedom is not offered on a silver platter; so is feminism!

Feminism aims at establishing equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women. And in such a fight, people who are against it will come up with all excuses to silence feminists to the extent that they will consider it a lost cause or something that has lost track.

There is more work for feminists to do since we have not yet achieved even a quarter of gender quality in the world.

Since there are still unbearable injustices meted out on women in societies or in an environment of people who we believe are informed about women’s rights, I can firmly say that feminism or feminists have not lost track of what is important.

For instance, I’m very sure some women in the corporate world have experiences this scenario, when you are the only woman in a meeting with men and one of the guys signals you to make him tea or coffee and asks you to bring it to where he is seated.  As if being in the same room as the only woman is not intimidating enough, they also make you feel that you are in the wrong place. Surely, the simple question is why didn’t he send his fellow man or why didn’t he just get up make the coffee himself? In some African societies, if you refuse to actually go and make that man coffee there are high chances you will be branded a disrespectful woman or the blame will be placed on feminism.

I believe that how a woman is treated in all spheres of life all comes down to how society is grooming us. To date there are families that still let the girls be the only ones to do the home chores while the boys just sit and play games.  With such grooming, what do you expect of such a man?

I have on many occasions been branded a feminist but honestly speaking, I believe in equal opportunities. I will not see a man being mistreated and I keep quiet. But let’s not ignore the fact that women continue to be mistreated and face more injustices. Let’s not forget that for centuries, women have been mistreated and when they were evntually given the platform to advocate and lobby for their rights, men were all up in arms.

As a way of showing that feminists have not lost track on what is important, I really wish to quote Angelina Jolie Pitt’s speech that she made on biannual African Union Summit on June 11th, 2015 while in Johannesburg, South Africa.

She said: "There is a global epidemic of violence against women both within conflict zones and within societies at peace and it is still treated as a lesser crime and lower priority. Women and girls are bearing the brunt of extremists that revel in treating them barbarically.”

She added. "This is inextricably linked to our overall failure to prevent and end conflicts worldwide, which is causing human suffering on an unprecedented level. We need policies for long-term security that are designed by women, focused on women, executed by women, not at the expense of men, or instead of men, but alongside and with men.”

Let’s not forget that our societies have large number of chauvinists thus the feminist movement needs to work day and night to advocate for women’s rights.

The day women and men will have equal opportunities politically, economically, culturally and socially, is the day when we will come back to question feminism.

editorial@newtimes.co.rw