…eat their bread in a discriminatory way. With some people dying of starvation I can’t help but hate on those who have plenty of food and bad manners. Don’t you hate the culinary fools who only eat the soft part of bread and throw away the hard crusty edges?

I guess when hungry they digest part of their brain and can’t think by the time they eat. Why eat some parts and ignore the rest yet it is all bread? What if God had done the same to you with only the soft bits and nothing hard like knee caps or a skull? Would you be happy living as some soft mould that looks like stale mayonnaise? I know it sounds mean but I really hope you choke of that bread tomorrow at breakfast.

…pretend to love artistes yet they never support them. Sometimes I am glad that I am not a musician because my career would end when I suddenly hit someone in the audience with a microphone on the head.

Seriously speaking I hate people who only attend concerts after begging for free tickets from a musician. These people are the reason why contraceptives were invented and we now have to suffer because their parents never used them.

How can you claim to love someone’s music yet you cannot pay for a ticket to support him or her. Would you also be happy if your boss refused to pay you for the work you do by just saying he loves you and how you do your thing? If you cannot work for free why do you think your artiste friends should?

…are so impatient when chatting with others. It is sad that some people have smuggled their bad manners to the digital age. I am talking about the clowns who never wait for your response when you are chatting using these common messaging services like WhatsApp or even the old SMS.

The joker can see it says you are typing and instead of waiting for you to finish, they simply send their message and interrupt your train of thought and now you have to delete what you were writing and start all over.

These are the same impatient jokers who will send you an SMS and call you just as you are reading it to ask you if you have seen the text they sent as if they are some kind of underpaid supervisors. What happened to communication being a two way not one person congesting the traffic from one side?

…waste our time and resources like this Sepp Blatter guy. I feel sorry for those unfortunate enough to call this guy their father, grandfather or a source of inspiration. How can I fail to hate a guy who has the guts to organise an election, campaign, win the election and then say he is resigning. What kind of fermented millet must be in your head before you pull off such a sick joke?

Why waste our time and money going through a process and then chickening (apologies to the strong willed chicken out there) out barely a week later. This old geezer must be the kind of person who applies for a divorce during his wedding honeymoon. I bet he even put his children up for adoption the moment he heard that his wife was pregnant. Why can’t he be like me; I cannot hate you and then love you soon after this column is published.

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