Dear Counselor,

I am 36-years-old, with a home, a husband, and three children. Last week I was let go from my job because of poor performance. I was there only 13 months, and was miserable from day one, because I knew I would fail. I have an engineering degree.

Since graduating with this degree, I have worked for eight different companies. I have been mainly in sales. I feel like a complete failure. Our financial situation is getting pretty bad, so my husband is working two jobs now. I honestly don’t know how we’ll survive.

There obviously must be something, because everyone I know is perfectly capable of holding down a job, not to mention getting the usual promotions. It is very depressing to see all of my friends and neighbours climbing their corporate ladders, while I keep getting knocked off of mine.

Aside from the depression, the fear and anxiety is destroying me. I haven’t slept well in a couple of months, and I’m usually in a pretty bad mood.

Please help me.

The counselor’s thoughts...

Anything that we strive to achieve, the grass usually seems greener on the other side. But the road to the summit may not always be easy, and when we finally get there, we may find ourselves more frustrated than we thought.

Your story raises a few touching concerns which calls for your own intellectual decisions to apply natural wisdom and keep out of the perils of long periods of unemployment. This is because, to any reader, the first impression is that, your attitude towards jobs is pre-determined by internal factors beyond our external examination.

Yes, losing a job may often be caused by several other factors beyond your control, but having to lose "Eight jobs” within such a short period raises a few puzzling questions than possible answers as to whether your poor performance at work deliberately aims at securing terminations from jobs.

Challenges like having a bad boss or not getting along with co-workers can be short lived and even solved amicably otherwise, you could be leaving one bad boss for another yet, you have whatever it takes to love and protect your job.

The most important step you’ve got to take before even searching another job is to work on rectifying the negative attitude towards jobs because it won’t help you even when you get a new one now. History repeats itself. In the contemporary world where there is extraordinary tight competition on the job market, a smallest job is your gold and can be ranked next to oxygen.

Similarly, employees prefer hiring employed people and tend to avoid job hoppers, spending only a few months here and there at different jobs. In fact, the longer you are unemployed, the harder it becomes to get a new job.

Lots of companies reward loyalty and longevity with additional benefits and perks like salaries, promotions and other benefits which you can’t enjoy if you jump from one job to another. Sit down, work on your personality and if a job is got, then nurture it like a tender baby. You will enjoy working.

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Your feedback: Readers advise Samantha

Keep moving forward

Albert Manzi

Too bad your professional life has been a challenge but winners don’t stay down when they’re knocked down, you have to keep moving forward. However, when it comes to keeping your job, I believe your professional relationship with your employer matters.

In my opinion, next time you should try to have a warm, friendly, and respectful relationship with your boss if you want to stick around the company. Make an effort to be as positive and respectful around your boss at all times. 

Keep a positive attitude

Jackline Mukacyimayire

Maintaining a positive attitude will make you reach to great heights with your professional life. If you look back at your previous employments, it’s obvious that you lost touch with positivity. In my opinion, if you want to keep your job, then you need to have a positive attitude about the work that you do. Though not every minute of your job may be pure joy, you have to find a way to embrace the things you love about your job and to deal with the less pleasant aspects of the job. Many people have made it far with that attitude. 

Learn to be a team player

Alphonse Bizimana

Try to keep a good and healthy relationship with your workmates. A strong friendship with workmates makes work interesting and creates a friendly mood that favours work. According to your testimony, this is strongly lacking; learn to be a team player. This is only possible if you’re able to communicate well to get along with others, and to work well with your co-workers, even if you have your differences. Eventually, this will save you when it’s time to make cuts at work. I hope this helps next time you get a job. 

Be punctual

Jean Paul Ngendahimana

You said that you were let go from your job because of poor performance, better revise yourself and see if not being punctual was not one of the root causes. I believe, employers like workers who are punctual and this promotes excellence at work. Kindly, put this into consideration in your next employment. It’s a defeating attitude to think that you’re going to fail in what you opt to do. You had already seen that you were going to fail; this kind of thinking discourages progress and hard work. Start thinking like a winner; be neat and organized in all your tasks. 

Try to be more creative

Christine Mukarusina

Be innovative and creative in your position. Employers are always interested in employees who are creative in their positions and innovative in whatever they do. Being inactive at work kills the employer’s interest in you. In my opinion, learn to be worker that brings several constructive ideas, it makes you exceptional thus being a shield to your job. Furthermore, be flexible and make sure you’re willing to change and grow along with the company and come up with ideas on how you can do your work better. 

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Katia Uwimana

No need to be desperate, it won’t help the situation. Personally, I think the best way forward is looking for a reason why you can keep a job and find possible solutions right away. Many workers who are let go from their jobs share common mistake of not accepting feedback especially when it is criticizing their performance. As a professional employee you have to show that you’re able to accept criticism and feedback and to use it as the best teacher to do your job better. Eventually don’t act defensive or even angry when your boss critiques your work; learn from it and accept it in a positive way.

Micheal Tangishaka

With due to respect; it is obvious that you have not been a competitive employee. Your attitude, you passion and even your courage to work is sick. In my opinion, be active and entertain and ask questions regarding your work and how you can take your position to another level. If you want your boss to see you as a person who is always ready for the next challenge, then don’t be afraid to ask questions. You need to impress your employer into thinking of you as a person who is inquisitive, curious, and always ready to learn. Remember back up everything with actions.

M. Brown

Employers consider different things when it comes to keeping workers and you might find your being a victim of one of them. For example, learn to participate in your company’s outside activities. Though you may have a busy family life, you should make an effort to attend company picnics, parties, seminars, happy hours, volunteering events, and any other activities as you can.

This will show your employers that you care about your job even when you’re outside the office and that you truly love what you do as well as the people you work with. I hope this works in your situation.

Eugene Gasigwa

As they say a customer is a king; if you have a customer-oriented job, then make sure you treat customers with kindness and respect at all times. If you’re up against a difficult customer, make sure to maintain your calm or even to ask for help when it’s needed. Remember that your employer will be looking for employees who do the best with customers. A friend of mine sometime back was facing the same challenge as you do, but her good association with customers has saved her job till now. Try this next time, I believe it will help.