Some things must change about Loose Talk if it is to live up to its billing as a place where talk is loose.

The first thing that must change about Loose Talk is sentence structure: In Loose Talk, sentences must flow freely, meaning that I should not be obliged to employ punctuation marks like commas, full stops, colons and semi-colons, hyphens …you name it.

What this means is that the sentences will get longer and consequently more chaotic as the writer tries to convey his thoughts to you, reader.

We hold you, reader in high esteem, because without you, what would be the use of writing Loose Talk?

In fact, what good would be The Hater’s vile weekly rumblings that have since led me to secretly plot to forcefully wrestle the hater’s job out of his hands?

Yes, let me say this once again, and loudly at that, because why should I talk behind The Hater’s back when I can put it to his face?: One of these days, I’m going to forcefully wrestle the hater’s job out of his hands.

The reasons why I’ve been secretly eyeing that job of late are numerous, but one of them just acted as the perfect trigger:

What’s this thing whereby every day I enter the newsroom, some young fans of The Hater sneak into the newsroom and then rush to me to ask if I’m the guy who writes Hater? This kind of madness must stop, here and now. If not, I will be left with no choice but to wrestle a dude out of a job because it appears to be juicy.

I will also forcefully take away his head gear because I suspect that it looks good on me.

Another thing that will have to change about Loose Talk is that there should be a provision that provides for me not writing anything in a particular week when I can’t think of anything to write. Weeks like this one.

For one, this will save readers that tired cliché of ‘writer’s block’ –the inability to write when one is a writer, that journalists and writers always dust off whenever they can’t think of anything to type.

There, I just said it again.