Love songs could basically be the only reason music exists at all. For centuries, love has been the most popular theme for musicians but still, we listen to song after song from confused viewpoints that make it clear we actually have no clue what love is. Hassan Mutuhe lists some of the local songs that many people still wonder what is ‘love’ got to do with them.

Nasara

If the lyrics of this song were meant for a naïve teen trying to figure out their first love, that would be fine.

But instead, it makes one feel like becoming a dictator who passes a decree that nobody ever invokes Romeo and Juliet in a song, with such lyrics…"…kandi aho naba naraguhemukiye ni uko twabaga tukiri abana… icyo amatwi atumva nyamara umutima wo uracyumva… gerageza umbwire uko nagushimisha…” Sounds like a cliché about preteens who met one day, got married the next, and killed themselves the day after.

Agatima

Unless you’re a wizard made of love luck, chances are you’re going to deal with heartbreak and loss at one point, or several. Singing about it is one thing, but doing so in a way that makes it clear you’re not over this failed long-ago romance, and will go to your grave pitifully craving for it, is just about the saddest route one can take. Which is exactly what Christopher did in this song;…”Numara kurambirwa ugashaka kugaruka, uzasanga agatima kagihari… Uko bukeye nuko bwije mpora nizeye ko uzagaruka… Ese aho uri uratuje ko nge umutima uremerewe nta byishimo nagira udahari.

Now, forget old songs like Rodrigue Karemera’s Kwibuka but this is even a sadder ballad that almost hinges on bad things that people might do to themselves (or their exes) in the name of love.

Niko nabaye

As wonderful and perfect a couple as you might be, you need other good things in your life to keep you going. There’s nothing healthy about lamenting about your ex. Or worse still, there’s nothing as stupid as endlessly and hopelessly using them as a reference in comparison with your new catch. "Ndatetesha ndatonesha niko nabaye, niko nabaye, uzabaze n’umu ex-wanjye niko nabaye.”

Maybe Al Pacino and his group were singing for a lady called Murekatete. But still, if you were pampering her the way you praise her in this song, why isn’t she still the queen of your heart? This song is an injustice to old lyrics like "nibuka yandoro, nibuka yanseko, nibuka kakajambo wambwiye, turi mu bandi…,” songs that remind us why old is gold.

Nzaba mpari

You’ve heard of those marriage vows ‘in good and in bad,’ right? Ok, Knowless trekked this potholed route…"Mu bibi no mu byiza...”

Sounds sweet and romantic until you pay attention to other lines, like, oh, the entire first verse:..."Mu mvura no kwizuba, nzaba mpari…ariko wowe umeze nk’igiti giteye ku mugezi, amababi yawe ntajya yuma, aho umuntu agera akumva ariyanze, niho unkundira… really?

Not everything near the river is evergreen, unless disaster never strikes in form of lightening. It strikes in love, too.

You

Well, men may not understand women. But one thing is clear: women like to be praised, and to feel loved. So Kitoko came up with every documented lie that men have ever told the female species.

"Nzagukwa diyama ugende muri hummer wibagirwe amaguru… abanzi bazasara bicwe no kuganya, nzakugeza kure nkwereke abajama nkwimik’ubugeni…kandi njye nzemera unjyendane nk’inkoni, nzavuga ngo je t’aime you babe, ntuzicwa no kuganya…”

He only forgot to add that men always propose on one bended knee, the other in "get set” mode and ready to take off just in case.