Students aren’t exactly the richest people around campus. Yes, some students try to hustle and get jobs here and there but at the end of the day, it isn’t normal for another student to buy his fellow students lunch, especially at the University of Rwanda. 

The day a student decides to buy for a friend or friends lunch, is epic. First of all, the buyer instantly becomes the king at the table. Everything he says is correct, every joke he makes is funny and when he disses his friends, they must laugh at it like it’s nothing, no matter how upsetting the diss was.

In case there is one toothpick left, it definitely goes to the buyer. Don’t even think of using it. If the buyer is a vegetarian and the others like meat, he will still use the toothpick and let you suffer with meat between your teeth.

No one stands up to leave before the one who bought lunch gets up. And no one should eat at a faster pace than the buyer. That is a sign that one is enjoying the lunch more than the buyer and that isn’t acceptable.

No food is left on the plate. It doesn’t matter how awful the food was. Someone can’t pay for food using his own money for another to leave it on the plate. Should food be left on the plate or even taken away to pour, that is an automatic disqualification and never again will anyone buy you lunch.

When there is only one lady at the table, only the buyer can talk to her. Even if she is a girlfriend to one of the other people on the table, she is at that moment a girlfriend to the buyer.

When the buyer gets angry, everyone is supposed to lose appetite and get sad until the buyer is happy again. No one asks for a soda until the buyer says so.

In some universities, like one I won’t mention for security purposes, the buyer is even carried on the shoulders of another individual after the lunch.

When it’s time to go back to class, the ones whose food was paid for must go singing praises of how cool the guy is.

But the following day, everyone goes back to eating at the university cafeteria – the good old posho-rice and beans.

campusinspector@newtimes.co.rw