Dear counselor,

When I got married, we did not have kids and my husband only came home over the weekend. I thought of my cousin’s daughter who was left to my very old grandmother in absolute poverty.

She was not in school. I asked my husband if we could help her which he graciously accepted.

She was 10. Her mum had remarried but didn’t want anything to do with the kid. I brought her to the city, put her in school and treated her like she was our own child, even after getting our own kids. She studied till S4 and I took her for a vocational course, and even got her a good job.

Then hell broke loose. It’s a good tailoring company that pays her well. She started calling my kids awful names and would even tell them how stupid they are – "just like their mother”. She would brag about money and even insinuated to neighbours how me and my husband are struggling. I felt like dying. Then one evening she disappeared (I hear she is married but do not know her exact whereabouts).

The problem is, the mum (my cousin) is now demanding for her daughter and she says I am the one who brought her to the city so I should look for her. I have no idea where to start and, frankly, no interest either. But the woman keeps coming to my home and making noise. I’ve asked around but no one seems to know the girl’s exact whereabouts.

What can I do?

Martha