One hardly forgives a violent felony but, as Nelson Mandela put it, it always seems impossible until it is done.

In Rwanda, after the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, which left a million innocent people dead, genocide was perpetrated against neighbours by neighbours and it would not be cynicism for one to think that this 'neighbourliness' would not reemerge for generations to come.

However, twenty-one years later, survivors and perpetrators have made significant steps towards reconciliation.

Besides the harmonious union in villages where the survivors currently live with no fear, next to the perpetrators, they work together, eat together, but most of all, they have embraced reconciliation through intermarriages.

For one to fully comprehend and appreciate this, they need to spend time with residents of one of the Reconciliation Villages that have been set up in different parts of the country.

Last Friday, this reporter visited the reconciliation village named Igiti Cy’Umuvumu (sycamore tree) in Mayange sector, Bugesera district, to get the feel of the achievements that have been registered, ahead of the 21 Commemoration of the Genocide, which begins today.

Perpetrators grateful

Thacien Nkundiye, a 60-year Genocide perpetrator, says the eight years he spent in prison, are not commensurate with the atrocious crimes he committed against his neighbours with whom they had peacefully coexisted for years.

"We were poisoned with the venomous propaganda of the genocidal regime, which convinced us that our Tutsi neighbours were actually our number one enemy and that they did not deserve a place in this world,” said a visibly remorseful Nkundiye, who lives in the reconciliation village.

According to Nkundiye, the thought of having to go back to his village, after serving his sentence, to live side by side with people whose loved ones he had killed was almost unbearable; in fact, he says, he even contemplated requesting to remain stay in prison for the rest of his life.

He said that during his time in prison, a faith-based organisation, Prison Fellowship Rwanda (PFR), approached him and his co-perpetrators and introduced to them the notion of confessing and seeking forgiveness for their crimes.

"At the same time, the organisation was preparing the Genocide survivors to be receptive to our confessions, and find a place to forgive. I confessed all that I did during the Genocide, apologised and I was pardoned, which came as a relief,” said Nkundiye.

Yet initially, the father of 10 says, he did not believe that he was really pardoned and thought that the families whose loved ones he killed wanted him closer for them to exact their revenge.

However, as he later realised that this was an authentic gesture, something that was later cemented by a marriage union.

"The marriage of my son, Venuste Nkurunziza, to a daughter of the family from which I had killed shocked us most as an astounding sign of our reconciliation. They live in harmony and my family does the same with the in-laws,” he said.

Another perpetrator, Frederic Kazigwemo, who says he was convicted of killing seven people, lives in a house next to Innocent Nyandwi, a survivor whose parents and relatives were killed in the Genocide.

Kazigwemo, who is now the leader of the village, said that they have attained reconciliation devoid of any grudges since 2006 when they started living in the estate.

According to Kazigwemo, the reconciliation village community is striving for economic development as a way of ensuring what happened does not happen again.

"We have formed the farming cooperative and women have a basket (agaseke) weaving cooperative. We have come to know that a hungry man is an angry man and can easily be manipulated; therefore, we want to be economically empowered,” he said.

Survivors’ strength

Felix Habimana, whose entire family was killed in the Genocide, said that he drew strength in forgiving those that killed his family, from hope for a brighter future, adding that forgiving the remorseful perpetrators gave him strength he never had.

"Under the initiative of PFR, the Anglican pastors, Deo Gashagaza and Etienne Gahigi preached to us that being able to forgive relieves the one from the boiling anger which is in most cases counterproductive; So, we forgave them from the bottom of our hearts and are now united in a shared vision of uniting ourselves and our country,” he said.

Habimana, 50, went on to say that at first, survivors and perpetrators would never share a sit, say during meetings that were organised by Prison Fellowship, and that some people forgave superficially only to please the preachers.

Later on, PFR introduced an idea of bringing them together in the same village, promising to supply materials for houses and argued survivors to collaborate with perpetrators in the construction works.

"We feared each other during the construction of these houses, yet we had to collaborate in building a house of a survivor, and then one of a perpetrator until we completed the village. We perceived the murderers of our families as animals and we never attached any meaning to their confessions, we were simply suspicious of one another,” said Habimana, a father of five.

"We would use hoes and pangas during the works and I feared that a perpetrator may cut me and call it an accident. They also feared that we could exercise revenge, but nothing happened until we completed these houses in which we are living.”

Habimana said that later, they decided that enough was enough and needed to leave a legacy of unity and peaceful coexistence to their children.

Laurence Mukaremera, another Genocide survivor in the village reaffirmed the true reconciliation which seemed impossible at the beginning of the PFR campaign.

"I was very angry with the genocide perpetrators and could not imagine myself interacting with them, but after a series of teachings, my mind changed and got the power to forgive. We have now forgiven them. We live together, we attend same ceremonies, work in cooperatives together, and there have been intermarriages,” she said.

According to the Coordinator of PFR in Bugesera District, Pastor Etienne Gahigi, after their success in both of the reconciliation villages in Mayange and Rweru sectors in Bugesera, they decided to replicate the inspiring story of the Umuvumu residents in other neighbourhoods across the country, through forming reconciliation clubs in every village and using the people from Umuvumu to share their experience.

Bishop John Rucyahana, the President of National Unit and Reconciliation Commission (NURC) and the Chairperson of PFR, told The New Times that the initiative is rooted in the Holy Bible and intends to restore the victim and offender’s relationship.

"We preached to the prisoners to confess and seek pardon from the victim families. We also prepared the survivors to forgive, even before the offender apologised. We mediated the confession procedures and so far, I would say we succeeded,” said Rucyahana, a retired Anglican bishop.

He said they started a programme dubbed ‘Heal me and I heal you’ which aimed at mending broken hearts of the victim and relieving frustrated heart of the culprit.

Bishop Rucyahana stressed that unless Bible lessons are put into practice, teaching becomes useless.

He said that Rwandans should understand well the necessity of reconciliation because the Genocide took place, crushing lives of many and properties, but whatever happened, people have to still live in this country together because it is for everyone.

Operating under Prison Fellowship International that is present in over 100 countries worldwide, Prison Fellowship Rwanda has built six reconciliation villages around the country, bringing together ex-genocide prisoners and genocide survivors.