Almost every singer has a stage name. Some of these names are weird and ridiculous in the sense that the more you think about them, the more they make no sense.

American rock bands have the weirdest names like Smashing Pumpkins, Matchbox 20, Atomic Bitchwax, The Cramps, Pussycat Dolls and Black Eyed Peas among others. The budding Rwandan music industry is not short of these weird stage names as well. The New Times’ Hassan Mutuhe looks at the not so cool stage names of Rwandan singers.

Knowless

Born Jeanne d’Arc Butera, (Joan of Arc), Butera is the undisputable female face of Rwanda’s music industry. Her critics say she is over rated because she is not a good singer but she still churns out song after song every year. Interestingly, she says she was inspired into music by Brandy Norwood, not Beyoncé Knowles. A name like Brandy is a bit familiar and wouldn’t raise eyebrows as Knowless does.

Why it is not a cool name: There’s one Knowles who is a global celebrity and our own Butera will always be looked as a mimic of Beyoncé. Imagine Knowless Butera is performing at an international concert in Tashkent and the MC announces; "Next on stage is Knowless…” a loud applause "…from Rwanda!”….. then confused looks and booing.

Tom Close

A champion of R&B music in Rwanda, the likes of The Ben and Meddy had some local inspiration from Thomas Muyombo, aka Tom Close. Among his many achievements is winning the first Primus Guma Guma Superstar (PGSS1) competition in 2011.

Why it’s not a cool name: Simple; Tom Cruise shouldn’t be fooled to try "Mission Impossible” in Rwanda in search of his lost, black twin brother.

KGB

As a regional force to reckon with, these guys won an award at Uganda’s PAM awards in 2006.

If they named themselves out of their love for communist Russia, then they have faded in the same way communism did. Otherwise, one would think that KGB are initials of the three members who formed the group but how does Henry Hirwa (RIP) fit in?

Why it’s not a cool name: If they ever make a comeback on the music scene, they should remember that the American propaganda almost succeeded in painting Russia’s intelligence body called, Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti, (KGB), as a bunch of brutal thugs.

Imagine them asking for visas to go and perform in the USA or the UK. The CIA or M15 wouldn’t want to be reminded of a ghost from their past. At least not with the current state of events in Ukraine.

Senderi International Hit

Eric Senderi Nzaramba, chose to nickname himself International Hit. Question is: whose International Hit is he? Of course it can’t be his because he’s got none!

Why he should change his name: To the contrary, calling himself International Hit will have nothing or little in making him an international icon. Neither will it make his songs global hits.

Riderman

We understand it’s important for a singer to have a stage name—especially for your foreign fans who find it hard to pronounce your surnames. But please do us a favour and select stage names that won’t embarrass you. Like many local artistes, born Emery Gatsinzi, the rapper felt the need to change his original name to Riderman.

Amag the Black

It’s funny for someone to think that in order to climb to the top of the charts as a memorable entertainer, one has to step away from their birth names. The name Amag the Black may be synonymous with controversial lyrics, huge bling bling and dramatic hairstyles, but few have ever heard of Amani Hakizimana. Before his transformation, Hakizimana was Riderman’s backup singer. Then in 2011, the rapper adopted his stage name as he was launching his solo career choosing "Amag the Black.”

While brainstorming for a stage name, we urge our singers to consult other people to avoid ridiculous stage names.