…are always inattentive and clumsy. I know we all make mistakes once in a while but the truth is that some people do it so often that I fail to know whether they are practising to perfect these mistakes or they simply never learn from the previous ones.

You know those people who will always spill their drink when at a restaurant or bar. I am talking about the kind of people who if you are unlucky to sit next to will certainly ruin your day. These people will spill their drink on your neat clothes as if they are auditioning for an Omo children’s advert or something. In supermarkets these same loose-fingered fellows will drop things every now and then like they are testing the durability of the same goods. Focus people, focus.

…are always begging us to vote for something or someone. I thought politicians were the only people with the right to bother us to vote for them even when they won’t remember we did soon after swearing in. These days the moment you log onto any social media platform you are attacked by this new tribe of beggars asking you to vote for them for all sorts of awards many of which you will be hearing of for the very first time.

Since when did logging onto a social media platform become the equivalent of walking to a polling station? What makes you even think that I will not vote against you now that you are disturbing my peace with your endless pleas. How about you send me money for data bundles then we can talk about your request after.

…give vague answers while working at information desks. I am quite sure you have come across these chair warmers. They spend their day warming chairs while liking pictures on Facebook and Instagram but when you approach them for information they will rarely ever be of help. They are so good at giving vague answers or no answers at all yet they are paid to actually provide information.

For some reason they seem never to have any useful information to offer. They even have the guts of delegating by asking you to call the person you are asking about. I really wonder why such people are not fired so we can simply just Google if we want to know where the boss is or what time the meeting will end or start.

…enjoy quizzing you as to whether you know them. I really hope some of my uncles and aunts are not readers of this article because it is not about them. Do you know those distant uncles who are uncles just because their grandfather went to the same school with yours and they once attended the same wedding of another distant cousin in the 60s together?

Such uncles have this annoying habit of seeing you once every seven years then hitting you with a barrage of questions; Young man do you know me? You don’t know me? What is my name?

And if you still can’t trace his old wrinkly face he will go ahead to mention five other people you are hearing of for the first time in your life. Look here old fellow, if you had been around in my life a little more then maybe I would know you; right now it is hard enough remembering all my Facebook friends.

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