…you meet and they ask you about having another child. Last week I expressed my hatred for people who you meet and they start asking you whether you are now married. There are also those who ask whether you now have children.

As if that is not enough, there is another group of advanced irritants who on finding out that you have a child, will go ahead to ask you when you plan to have a second one. Is it that when these people look at you, all they see is a baby making machine or what?

Is there a certain child bearing target that I am expected to meet by a certain year for them to assume I am behind schedule or what? What happened to doing things that don’t even cost money like minding you own business?

…think they can resolve a crisis by reminding people who they are? I am sure you have met this empty heads before. Many of them like to hang out in bars, imbibe a few drinks and then think it is time to do a roll call to find out who knows them or who doesn’t. They love to ask other less concerned people things like, "Do you know me?” Why do you expect me to know you like you were on the academic syllabus of what I studied in school?

If you are even asking that question then you ought to be aware of your irrelevance already. Such lousy questions should be saved for your spouse not other people who wouldn’t care if you lived for another extra hour. Oh, and before I forget, actually I do not know you and do not want to. Move on.

…think using their car indicators is optional. I have this feeling that when some people go to buy cars, they use their brains to top up the cost. What I mean is that they pay some money then top up with their brains and leave with a car and an empty head.

Honestly speaking, what else could be the excuse of someone who is driving a car to turn without indicating? Do you think that if you put your indicators on you would run out of fuel? And what are we who are walking or driving close to you supposed to look at to tell if you are to turn or not; your ears, your nose or what? Are you saving the indicators so that when you want to sell the car you can drop in that line of, "this car may look old but it has new indicators, I rarely use them.”

…still think they can dictate how others use social media. I don’t know how much I can emphasise this so it sinks in some people’s heads but to be fair, people need to learn how to mind their own business. Don’t you just hate these jokers who think they can tell you what to do with your own social media account yet you are not paying for that kind of unsolicited advice? What happened to just unfollowing or unfriending those who you think don’t know what they are doing with their accounts?

You are not a social media prefect or headmaster to police people around. The only advice that is acceptable is correcting people’s grammar because wrong grammar is actually much more annoying.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293