We have a number of classes in the computer lab this semester but expecting any progress in the student’s computer skills is merely wishful thinking as these students will give you the opposite. They seem to get more experience in trying to dodge the class. They will fail to use their heads in class but pull out their utmost creativity in disorganising the class. 

A student will scream like the world has come to an end just because the computer went off and they want it back on. Sometimes when a student screams, students in other classes think its lunch time and run out of class.

There is this one fellow who knows a thing or two about computer cables but it hasn’t helped him much when it comes to exams. Before anyone else is in the lab, he connects each CPU to a different screen from the one it’s set up with. Basically whatever you click on doesn’t appear on your screen but on the other one next to yours. It causes a lot of confusion to the extent that the "savedee” of the class starts praying for the demons that have attacked the computers.

Let’s not forget the blondes that think because they are in the computer lab, they are in the CIA head office. This lady turned to me and asked if I could tap into her boyfriend’s phone to get the conversation between him and a one Sarah. Maybe the next thing she will ask me is to get into top-secret Pentagon files.

Then there’s this guy who doesn’t want to let go of his old habits. To start with, he is the oldest in the class or should I say the university? When he has something to add or subtract, he pulls out his very small "Chinese” phone whose screen is almost fading out and presses it for about 10 minutes just to use his calculator.

And the students who play solitaire the entire time? The funny thing is that they come first and fight for the most powerful computer in the lab. Ask them to leave and it is tag of war, saying first come first serve.

There is the clueless guy who just sits back and relaxes the entire time in class. As soon as he steps out of class, his head auto-formats whatever he studied. That is our computer lab.

campusinspector@newtimes.co.rw