Resolutions for any in-coming year must always be short, tight and precise, and this is because why waste so much ink and energy on something you know you won’t abide by anyway? This business of making New Year resolutions actually lends credence to the saying, ‘talk is cheap’.

This is not to say that I will now shy away from setting those seemingly unattainable targets at the onset of 2015.

Yes, I really need to witness a revolution in my personal life this new year, hence the need for guiding resolutions to keep me grounded. In 2014, I was a little wobbly and shaky and panicky and fidgety in some of my personal operations, I fete I don’t want to repeat in New Year. My feet must be on the ground –terra firma.

In 2015, no longer will I tolerate people who still can’t differentiate between The New Times, and Star Times. We know it that both institutions are located in Kimihurura, Police Denis Building to be exact; we also know that both names end with "Times”, but that is not reason enough for you to keep misfiring. In fact, if these people who always mix up Star Times and The New Times were musicians, they would be the ones who sing off-key. I won’t name names –no need. That said, we know you, so stay warned.

And let it be known to all hotel and resto owners that come 2015, I won’t go to any buffet that does not have any of the following:

Amavuta y’inka, instead of Mayonnasie, because who really needs Mayonnaise? A buffet worth its name must also have the ingenuity to include sardines among the variety of sauces. These little fish which look like sambaza but are not sambaza should be served both raw and cooked, because apparently some people enjoy it better when eaten straight from the can, which I personally find to be a bit gross.

This is not to forget Ikinyomoro and Agashya, some the best fresh fruit juices in the land, and Ubugari bw’imyumbati, for which all hotels and restos must employ able-bodied young muscle men to help customers with the process of partitioning the meal.