Feeling down during the festive holidays can be tough, especially when one feels a little bit out of contact with the world yet everyone is beaming with holiday spirits, and it’s only you feeling wretched and exhausted.

Stress is defined, not by the cause of the distress, but by the way in which a person reacts to it. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands; parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few, it’s no wonder some or majority of people get depressed.

The holidays can be demanding for many reasons, but if you are prone to anxiety they can be downright overwhelming.

The gifts, the parties, the baking, the family or perhaps the absence of these things can make the season stressful, chaotic or just plain lonely. Like the joke goes, the only way to avoid depression and stress during the festive holidays is to shun the fuss and live like there is nothing going on. Otherwise, once you pick it up, then there is hardly an escape.

So, have you picked the bug? If so, you might need to know of some of the agents and how to handle them without worsening your dilemma.

Juggling work and festivities

Work is a necessary part of the festive season for most people, and managing the festive season shopping, celebrating and entertaining as well as having to work can contribute to stress for many. One may find it difficult to get enough sleep in this busy period, which can have a negative impact on their moods.

Financial troubles

The festive season is also a time of considerable expense, and the financial strain associated with buying gifts and food and travelling to visit loved ones, can contribute to stress and depression. The materialistic nature of society is thought to contribute to depression in general, and in the festive season there is considerable pressure to buy luxuries, which causes financial strain for many.

High expectations

The holidays don’t have to be perfect always, families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. One can have an open mind and go with what comes instead of worrying to making things perfect.

Family conflict

There is always the issue of inability to withstand family, festive family gatherings are at least according to expectations, a time for sharing love and joy. In reality they often mean extra work and can be a time of conflict. Conflict with family members can cause stress and contribute to depression.

 Loneliness

This season can often be a time when the absence of family or social connections becomes highlighted. When one finds themselves alone it makes them sad and disconnected from the world. If one is far from family, they can try creative ways to connect with relatives for example through email, videos, Skype, calling or sending texts.

Anxiety

The holidays don’t necessarily cause unique forms of anxiety; the busy-ness of the season can frazzle almost anyone. With the season there are many causes of anxiety and despite the emphasis on merriment; many sources of stress are brought together.

Old and new tensions among family, friends, co-workers and others have a greater chance to arise, making it harder to manage these relationships and ultimately one’s own health. As stress levels go up, so goes the susceptibility to anxiety and depression.

Once a tipping point has been reached, anxiety and depression begin to interfere with one’s ability to cope and find greater joy in these holy days. For many people, despite the theme of hope during these festive periods, memories of what one has lost can be overwhelming.

Social phobia

People with social phobia or social anxiety can get stressed up with festive season since it is a time when families come together and hence one is always surrounded by big crowds.

Social phobia is a type of anxiety problem where a person has extreme feelings of shyness and self-consciousness build into a powerful fear. As a result, a person feels uncomfortable participating in social situations.

Exhaustion

The holidays can be a very difficult time especially when one is feeling overwhelmed by their feelings.

Unfinished accomplishments

This is the time to make resolutions for New Year and in case one hasn’t accomplished the ones he or she had for the ending year, one can end up blaming themselves as failures and begin feeling down over unmet goals.

Excessive consumption of alcohol

At this time some people, particularly those who work in stressful occupations, may use alcohol not only as a celebratory mood enhancer, but also as a means of coping with the additional pressures the festive season exerts. While alcohol temporarily produces positive feelings and relaxation, when it’s intoxicating effects wear off it can contribute to stress and depression. Use of illicit drugs is thought to contribute to depression, and some evidence suggests that illicit drug use increases in the festive period.

Every area of life produces stress, when a person tries to eliminate all stress the only he accomplishes is to become more stressed.

How you can cope with stress this festive season

In a book, ‘Less stress,’ Dr Julian Melgosa, says the subtle way in which this modern-day problem has infiltrated every area of life has surprised many people and caught them unaware and unprepared to deal with it.

"When stress attacks, a special attitude towards the difficulty is not only helpful but necessary. In addition, a particular mindset towards daily habits as well as a practical knowledge of specific techniques are needed,” Dr Melgosa says.

He says some of the natural ways of stress treatment such as; hydrotherapy, medicinal plants and meditation.

Beata Mukarusanga, a psychologist at the National Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Ndera, says, generally, stress isn’t bad and that there is that percentage of stress we need so as to respond well to our responsibilities.

Mukarusanga says without stress, one cannot achieve goals but with the required we perform, though when the stress exceeds one’s abilities, it becomes a danger.

She recommends the following options as a means of coping with the festive stress;

Planning: One has to plan ahead on how the festive holidays will go, whether they will invite people or if they are the ones to be invited and decide which ones they will have to respond to.

Exercise: Physical exercise can be very effective in relieving stress. Even moderate physical exercise, like walking to the shops, can help.

Practice meditation: Mindfulness meditation can be practiced anywhere at any time, and has been proven to reduce the effects of stress, anxiety and related problems such as insomnia, poor concentration and low moods. In addition, a prayerful life can help someone to overcome stress, in many cases; a personal prayer can add the final touch to a positive mental stress.

Jean Damascene Iyamuremye, a psychologist at the Rwanda Biomedical Centre, says when one is stressed, they may experience many different feelings, including anxiety, irritability or low self-esteem, which can lead to becoming withdrawn, indecisive and tearful.

"Stress is a natural reaction to many situations in life, such as work, family, relationships and money problems. A moderate amount of stress can help us perform better in challenging situations but too much or prolonged stress can lead to physical problems such as heart attacks, or mental illnesses such as depression,” Iyamuremye says.

He recommends the following steps to manage stress;

Identify the causes of stress: Sort the possible reasons for your stress into those with a practical solution, those that will get better anyway given time, and those you can’t do anything about. Try to let go of those in the second and third groups – there is no point in worrying about things you can’t change or things that will sort themselves out.

Review your lifestyle: By reviewing your lifestyle, ask yourself questions like: Are you taking on too much? Are there things you are doing which could be handed over to someone else? Can you do things in a more leisurely way? You may need to prioritise things you are trying to achieve and reorganise your life so that you are not trying to do everything at once.

Eat healthily: A healthy diet will help prevent you becoming overweight and will reduce the risks of other diet-related diseases. Also, there is a growing amount of evidence showing how food affects our mood.

Seek help: When you feel too much stressed, do not be afraid to seek professional help if you feel that you are struggling to manage on your own. Many people do not seek help as they feel that it is an admission of failure, which is cowardly and costly.