I’m under a lot of pressure to have sex. How do I know if my boyfriend is just using me? And if I give in to his demands, can it affect my performance in class?

Julie, 17

Dear Julie,

One way to validate a boy’s true love is by testing his patience, moral purity and concern about what may cause devastating trouble in a relationship. Your boyfriend’s desire to have quick sex with you is out of lust which is a cheap substitute for true love. Although we’re sexual creatures with an innate sex drive, something unique that differentiates us from animals is our intellectual ability to apply self-control over such feelings.   

If you’re to maintain a fruitful relationship with this boy, abstinence is the best option. It saves lives, gives sexual relations the proper value and honors the moral principles that give direction to human kind. Premarital sex promotes promiscuity and tarnishes the sanctity of marriage.

A teenager at 17 is not yet ready for sex and its outstanding consequences. supposing you contract STDs, get pregnant, drop out of school and often live a vicious, multigenerational cycle of unhappy life? Your focus should be on your academic performance and its tremendous future rewards

Only marriage, if properly founded according to God’s guidelines, provides the grounds for real sex and love to fully flourish.

If this boy can’t wait until you finish school, then he is not for you. His desire is for sex which I am sure he gets from numerous sources out there. Don’t dare give in to his selfish demands.

Premarital sex doesn’t allow a man to develop the determination as a father who will responsibly teach his children the proper purpose of sex. It weakens the God-given family unit, which ultimately deteriorates society as a whole.

You don’t deserve to be in a sucky relationship with a careless boyfriend! You deserve an awesome boyfriend who loves you genuinely. It’s important to note that men value what is rare. Therefore make yourself special and he will respect you even more. Otherwise, he may treat you as a sex tool and dump you after.

YOUR ADVICE

Justine Ampaire                  

When you finish your studies, you will get a responsible husband that respects you. I therefore advise that you be patient till that time. Your boyfriend just wants sex after which he will run away. Just continue reading your books.

Fahad Rukundo     

When you have sex with someone, you get attached to them. Should he for example betray your feelings, trust me life will not be the same again. It will definately affect your concentration in class.

Jackie Kasande            

That boyfriend of yours is not in love with you. Once you give him what he wants, he will stop treating you nicely to your disappointment. As a result, you won’t be able to read with a clear mind.

Wilbrod Ntahiwa    

Please don’t accept to be lured into sexual activities when you are still in school. It’s completely wrong and can negatively affect your academic performance. First concentrate on your studies and other things will come later.

The writer is a counsellor