…over use a phrase they picked from a song. Do people know how dumb they sound when they insist on over using a phrase they picked from a song? I am so sick and tired of people who think they can use that ‘ain't loyal’ phrase in all situations.

I hear this internet ain't loyal, this car ain't loyal, and these girls ain't loyal, among other annoying utterances. Which committee of fools sat and elevated one phrase to be the template for your stupidity and lame language skills? People with this sickening habit deserve to be on eternal contraception. The world does not need more of them.

…think a problem is only a problem if it affects many people. There are times when I see someone having a problem but he/she would rather first confirm that it is a general one before they can seek help. I am talking about those people who go on social media and post things like, "Is anyone else having trouble loading airtime on their phone?”

if they did would they wait for you to ask? Are you collecting research data, conducting an online census or mobilising numbers of people to go and demonstrate in town and deliver a protest letter to parliament about airtime. Why don’t you just contact customer care and present your issues. Your phone is not a communal after all.

…use public computers and leave lots of tabs open. Do not ask what a rich fellow like me was doing in an internet café yet it is 2014 and not 1998. Well part of my job is to hate on behalf of others so consider this as a charity act for the poor who still have to use internet cafes.

Anyway as I was saying, some people use those public computers and leave all the tabs open. You get to the computer and you find that the ‘gentleman’ who was using it before did not think of closing the tabs and now you have to close all those porn sites he was visiting as well that email he was sending to some Nigerian who has promised to share with him some of the wealth of the late Gen. Sani Abacha. You wonder where these people got their computer skills from, they were cheated it seems.

…unleash their might and stupidity on helpless babies. I am talking about that Ugandan nanny or maid from hell you have all seen unleashing unknown terror to a 2-year-old baby. How on earth does someone pounce on a child 20 years younger and start doing all sorts of things that would even be illegal in a professional wrestling match.

How fermented does the sorghum porridge in your head have to be for you to think it is ok to kick a toddler around like a football? And what was that madness of stepping on the baby as if trying to break the poor soul’s spinal code? I know the law should take its course but I would not mind if a lucky lion at the zoo had that maid as Christmas dinner. Yes let her go fight a beast that is her size and not a helpless toddler.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293