Of late there has been a lot of disturbing news and events doing the rounds. I will start with that very disappointing football game where Uganda lost the final Guinea and with that all hopes of making it for the next edition of the African Cup of Nations.

The game was being followed keenly by most East Africans because Uganda was the only team in that still had a chance to make it from this football malnourished region called East Africa. The loss not only means there will be no East African team at the tournament but also that Uganda has extended that sad record of not making it to the tournament since 1978! Yes you read it right, 1978.

Just before I sat to write this article, I watched a very disturbing video clip of a child being tortured by a nanny in Uganda who was unaware of a hidden camera in the home. The video was so disturbing that I was filled with a sudden rage that forced me to postpone writing for a while. Domestic violence of all forms should be fought more vigorously.

Crossing over to Kenya, the sickening habit of men stripping women considered to be indecently dressed took over Nairobi in a foul way. Again disturbing videos of women being stripped naked by rowdy men went viral. The reactions to these events soon took different turns almost blurring the core issues.

The feminists and public in general were understandably disturbed and started a campaign dubbed #MyDressMyChoice on different social media platforms. They argued that it was their right to dress the way they want and that men should respect that and if it bothered them the solution was not stripping and assaulting women.

Another group argued that the right to dress should not be an excuse for women to dress indecently without giving clarity on what constituted decency in this case. There was even a demonstration by both groups and each group had both men and women demonstrating.

A while back the same trend was taking shape in Uganda when the anti-pornography law was passed and generally perceived as an anti miniskirt law. Some women were stripped naked in the taxi park by men who ironically think of themselves as custodians of morality.

All these cases reminded me of something I witnessed last month here in Rwanda. I was getting onto a motorcycle at a trading centre to head home and right next to us a man was warning a lady not to follow him and the woman was also angry and also arguing with the man. . I think the lady was his wife and they were bickering about something.

Later on I asked the motorcycle rider whether that argument had the potential of becoming violent by for instance the man slapping the woman. His answer was quick, "Never! He would be arrested and locked up. No one there would allow him to get away with that.” I knew this but I wanted to see how the motorcycle guy perceived the situation.

If you are in a society where men think it is their right to determine how women should dress in public and also that it is OK for them to be stripped naked then that society has major issues to address. More importantly if you are in a society where mob justice is OK then the state is not doing enough. In all the debates about the situation in Kenya few mentioned the role of the state.

In Kigali I see suspected thieves caught in busy downtown areas, elsewhere such thieves are beaten to pulp and sometimes burnt alive. The impunity of the masses should not be allowed to prevail especially in the city as is the case in Kampala or Nairobi. This is a form of gender based violence and an extension of mob justice and impunity. Those who talk of decent dressing only serve to empower the goons who strip women.

If Kenyan police was as vigilant as Rwanda National Police there would even be no talk of ‘the woman has not yet reported the case to us.’ Their job is to protect life and property not to wait for crimes to be committed and reported. There is a general consensus here that unlike in other East African countries, police in Rwanda is a reliable institution. The rest need to pick lessons and have the will to put them into practice.