…pretend that they have a quick question to ask. There are some things I guess I will never understand, such as the way some people speak. Which committee, for example, sat and agreed that it is ok to say, "I have a quick question.”

What in the world is a quick question anyway? Since when do questions carry a speed factor? Are you trying to tell me that we also have slow questions? Is there someone who even verifies the speed of these questions in the first place?

And in case you have a quick question can we assume you need a quick answer or a slow one? Can I be told to speak faster if my answer to the quick question is slow? I am not even sure if this article is a quick one or a slow one. I am only sure that I hate people who ask ‘quick questions’.

…think being neighbours means having to share everything. Clap once if your neighbours are never a problem to you. Oh how I hate neighbours who borrow each and everything. The ones who will borrow your flat iron and even come back for the box in which it was when you got it from the shop. The one who borrow something for ages and you have to borrow it back yet it is actually yours.

Some are just so annoying, they will come to borrow a match box and finish all the matches. They will not even hesitate to smile as they tell you that they cannot recall where they placed something they borrowed from you and how they will check for it… later. The Bible says love your neighbours but I think mine were not considered before that was written.

…always place their phones on the table during meetings. I know some of you have phones the size of Moses’ biblical tablets but generally speaking it is disturbing when one places their phone on the table during a meeting.

First of all you are going to distract everyone when your phone vibrates noisily yet it is just an SMS from MTN telling you about their Sharama promo.

Ladies put your phones in your big bags. As for the men I am sure you have pockets big enough and even if not, try not to put your phone on the table unless it is the topic to be discussed. If you still have to, then switch off the volume and the vibration. It is good manners.

…are always complaining about the rain. I know these jokers are mainly city dwellers. The ones who think agriculture is a hobby for poor people. These fellows will tweet about rain the moment the first drop sets off from the clouds. They will whine about how they hate the rain as if the food they eat grows courtesy of mineral water.

These serial complainers will not hesitate to tweet about how they plan to buy the new iPhone and yet they cannot afford an umbrella to shield them from the rain. And by the way which schools did these people go to where it was never mentioned that there is something called the rainy season.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293