There is this guy at campus whose closet only contains the best clothes. He always has the latest phones. As if that isn’t enough to make us feel bad about ourselves, he always gets these gadgets brand new, as opposed to the rest of us who buy second hand ‘Chinese’ stuff. My envy for him was so great that I imagined robbing a bank just to be like him. 

He told everyone that he used to work for an American company that pays its employees top cash. Top cash at campus means tens of thousands of dollars. And by the look of things, the dude was really getting top cash.

Some computer geek broke up with his girlfriend after he found the top cash man having lunch with her.

Naturally, he knew this was a fight he would not win. And guess what? The lady didn’t even care that her boyfriend had caught her out with another man. Besides, she had graduated from chilling with a man in a Spiderman t-shirt to a guy who wears Gucci perfume. Who wouldn’t act like that?

The top cash dude soon became close friends with everyone. He started giving business tips to desperate campus dudes who needed to impress their chicks. However, I soon learnt that we all got the same idea.

He asked us to collect money and if the business didn’t kick off, he would refund the money from his huge salary. He stressed the value of confidentiality so for some time, everyone kept quiet about it and thought others didn’t know.

It was only a matter of time until the people that never keep secrets started spilling them and telling other people about ‘their’secret. The news went on and on and this guy is now on the run. He left the university and none of us knows him that well so we don’t know where he lives.

It’s been four months now. But I heard someone say that they saw him at another university registering as a freshman. Basically he achieved his ‘degree’ in robberyat our university and now he has gone for a masters in the same art.

campusinspector@newtimes.co.rw