…always want us to believe they own everything good. I am not even talking about rich and wealthy people (I hope you know the difference). I am talking about people whose lips don’t seal quite well, those who are quick to tell you that something is theirs even when it is not.

When a nice song is played on radio they scream, "That’s my song.” When a nice car passes by they remind you how that is their car. What happened to just saying you love the song. There is no way it can be yours while you still sound like an orphaned frog at a karaoke session. And you can only get the car if you work hard and buy it instead of just dreaming about it.

…enjoy endlessly mocking friends after a football game. Let me start by pointing out that I am not a supporter of a weak football team. This is just me giving back to society by hating on behalf of those who don’t have a newspaper column.

Anyway, as I was saying, these people who have made a vocation out of mocking their friends after a loss need to stop. The ones who call their grieving friends just to say, "I told you that your team would lose.” When you see the joy with which these people mock their friends you can be excused for thinking they have found the cure to Ebola. I thought it was just a game.

…fight to enter the lift so they can stand near the buttons. Sometimes I wish I had the protection of the law to emphatically slap childhood out of some adults.

There are some things I see and I just feel like going native on some people. Like the empty heads who rush to enter a lift just so they can press buttons and feel like they have a post graduate diploma in ‘Lift Operations’ from a fake Chinese university, in India!

These jokers should not even be allowed to use public transport just in case they are ambushed by a stupid urge to drive the bus.

…want us to believe that car keys are too big. Can someone help me understand this? Since when did car keys become so big that they cannot fit in one’s pocket or bag?

I mean I don’t get this business of people with cheap Japanese cars (yes those with Range Rovers have been forgiven) always swinging their car keys in our faces.

Put the damn keys in the pocket. It is even worse when it a lady with those big wholesale bags. You mean to tell me that you can carry a bag the size of a cargo truck but there is no space for car keys? Do you mean those of us who take public transport should go around tossing our coins in the air?

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