I have been married for two years now and I have never had reason to be suspicious of my husband. Last week, the maid told me that she could not continue working for us because my husband was sexually harassing her.

She says it has been going on for a month now and that he finds his way home when I’m not there to try to seduce her. She says she warned him against his actions and threatened to let me know about his moves but he laughed and told her that I would never believe it. This girl has been working for us for three months now.

The previous maid left abruptly so I’m beginning to think my husband might actually be hitting on the maids. I confronted him about it but he dismissed it and said the girl was clearly confused or out to destroy our marriage. I have no clue what to do because I will not tolerate infidelity. However, what if the girl is lying? Please help me.

Esther, Nyamirambo

The counselor’s thoughts...

It’s true that the slightest detection of a husband having a romantic relationship with another woman hurts like hell; even worse, when it’s your own maid. As the pain grows, you remember the trust and the key to your life that he officially holds plus the vows he made to you that seem to have indicatively been retracted.

This is a terrible moment in marriage and you’re just a representation of millions of wives out their experiencing the same. It’s however important to note at this stage that men hate direct criticism because they gear up their anger to cover the guilt. First attempt to verify the authenticity of this maid’s claim, whether he takes advantage of the trust you have for him, is the courage to approach girls without fear of any suspicion.

Just like solving a puzzle, you certainly could exercise your power of intelligence to combat such a demoralising habit out of him in a very friendly style. Your intention at the time of entering this union was not to let go of this marriage but rather, like a journey, you need to reflect and refresh every now and then. This calls for that extraordinary patience, self control and moral discipline in trying to rehearse the most appropriate strategy of approaching and convincing him to discover the importance of having a faithful marriage.

Think of the responsibilities that you could probably have failed to perform which attracts him to the maids and revise the possible tactics of tapping them and rejuvenate his passion for you so that each time he thinks about love, it’s only you. Don’t be rude but just respect him as a husband and head of the family, this will send a signal that you are such a unique wife and although he may continuously deny, that human internal conscience will silently convict him to transform into a trustworthy husband. Your peaceful move will explore for you new horizons and you’ll have all reasons to celebrate your marriage.

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Your feedback: Readers advise Esther

You should know your husband

Gloria Asaba

You have been married to your husband for two years and haven’t noticed if he is capable of that or not? Maybe you need to get to know him better. A wife can easily tell her husband’s guilt or innocence in such cases. It shouldn’t be a hard.

Get to the bottom of it

Brian Kisembo

If he is doing it with her he is doing it with his co-workers and other women elsewhere. You don’t have to be a genius to tell if a man is cheating or has such a character so take some time and do your very simple ground research and find out.Why would the maid lie?

Pasquale Anogmo

I really don’t think a maid would lie about such an act to the wife of the house. She has no reason to. Please watch that very well and be sure to get to the bottom of everything. It takes a lot to receive what you will find but it also helps a lot.

Maids are liars

Anastase Nkulikiyinfura

Maids will come up with all kinds of stories for all kinds of reasons that could even include stealing your belongings and running away. She could want to divert your attention right now and attack with something else. Watch out.Your husband is a life partner

Bubu Nimana

Maids are maids and will always have very weird behaviours. Before you confront your husband again, be sure that you know that with a maid, it only lasts as long as she is at your home but your husband is for life. Choose well before attacking him.

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Go with your gut

Hope Kamahoro

Don’t let your emotions over power your intelligence. Dig till you find out the truth; deal with your man straight up or fire that lying maid. The ball is in your hands.

Men can’t be trusted

Steve Mugabo

Men will always be men. I really don’t know what you will do but the majority of men fall in that category.Give him the benefit of doubt

Agaba Ronnie

It is shocking that you confronted your man before accusing the maid of lying. Maybe you know him well and already know the answer to this problem.

If he is lying you will tell

Kintu Lion

Ask your man again and look him in the eye when you do. If you are doing everything right as a wife, then you will be able to tell if he is lying.

Don’t trust the maid

Rose Mary Karoro

She isn’t the first maid to lie neither will she be the last. Maids are liars and thieves. Don’t trust them.He is cheating on you

Gorrete Nakasirye

Why are you worried about what men do? It doesn’t matter who he is doing it with, like the maid, he is cheating.