My child is too reserved. How can i make her more talkative and confident?

Betty

Many children are naturally introverts. It’s important to note that their character is a personality trait, but not a negative quality neither a fault. Some of the nicest people I know are reserved but have inner peace and beauty for others to discover.

These people tend to be attentive listeners, critically examine the validity of situations and are good at making rational decisions in many life situations. Introverts usually exude a receptive atmosphere even without saying a word, possess that intellectual capacity to think or operate standard tasks in very supersonic styles compared to the talkative ones. They are usually good at studying people before relating with them closely as a safety measure.

But if your child’s silence is a manifestation of inner problems like anger and fear, then it’s crucial that you intervene to try to harmonize such unusual conduct.

Build up the self-esteem. Discipline in a way that doesn’t lead to internalized self-dislike and recognize that you’re blessed with a sensitive, deeply caring, reserved child who is slow to warm up to strangers, approaches social relationships cautiously, but generally seems to be a happy person. Try to praise for the good things they do.

It’s tempting to want to help the quiet child. But be careful — you can’t pull a child out of his personality traits. It’s better to create a comfortable environment that lets his social personality develop naturally. Don’t criticize the child as being so reserved. This will make him feel as a social misfit. As he grows and gets comfortable, trust that he will open up and freely interact with people.

If you determine what scenarios make him feel anxious, while at home, encourage your child to bring along one of his favourite activities for example role playing If you feel he is socially awkward, link up with his teacher while at school to provide opportunities to increase his interactions and encourage him to ask meaningful questions to the teachers and participate in class discussions. The child will have fun and learn to make friends. Be positive and model good communication skills to avoid stimulating anxiety. Initiating group activities that interest him is another way to practice social skills.

The writer is a counsellor

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Daniel Ndayisaba

Find out what excites your child and get them more involved in that. Once a child is happy then they will automatically open up. If this is done regularly then your child will change drastically. 

George Dungu

Being quiet is not bad. It should not be a reason to worry because naturally some people will be talkative and others reserved. In my view, there is nothing much you can do to change such a person.

Shamilah Mbabazi

What’s wrong with being quiet? In fact I prefer a quiet person as long as he is mentally well. Sometimes talking a lot can lead one into trouble. Just let child be themselves.

Sadam Kagabo

Silence does not mean someone is less intelligent. We have two types of people — introverts and extroverts. Introverts are very reserved people while extroverts are very talkative and it is very normal. So there is no need to panic.

Next week’s problem:

MY FRIENDS ALWAYS LAUGH AT ME WHEN I SPEAK ENGLISH. AS A RESULT, I’M BEGINNING TO LOSE INTEREST IN THE LANGUAGE WHICH IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO HAPPEN. HOW CAN I RESIST THIS TEMPTATION?

PATRICIA