…write very long posts on social media. Of all the important things one can learn while in school, summary is top on the list. I cannot express how much I detest people who cannot be brief and to the point.

The ones who post things on Facebook and you have to click ‘continue reading’ or the ones who use Twitlonger on Twitter. Why do you go a platform that allows 140 characters and yet you cannot make your point within that limit?

If you really cannot say what you want to see in a brief and straight to the point way, then please save it for the fireside storytelling moments. …make duck faces when taking photos to post on social media. I think I missed the day it was announced that the cool way to take a photo or precisely a ‘selfie’ to post on social media is to do the duck face.

Yes ladies know what I am talking about. That thing you do where you mimic a duck and push your lips forward like a duck.

I have failed to understand why girls think this is cool in any way. Actually, if it was cool then how come no one is clamouring for pictures of ducks? What happened to just smiling when taking a photo? Why should one struggle to look like a domestic animal when taking photos?

I honestly think that people who do this are violating animal rights and need to stop.

…insist on attending parties where they were not invited. I am sure you have met this tribe of jokers—the people who insist on tagging along to a party where their friend was invited.

These people are so desperate to be at parties that they do not mind being in the presence of tens of people they barely know.

How do you enjoy a party where you can only recognise the drinks and not the people? And why be so desperate to attend a party as if you will be rewarded with a certificate of attendance?

This being 2014, I don’t know why such people are even allowed to breed.

…never think about helping other people. Most religions support living a life where you care about others, especially those in need. However the reality is quite the opposite. The other day I was walking around Nyarutarama and it started raining. I kept looking at drivers with that needy face I see street children employing, hoping that they would see the sense in stopping to give me a lift before I get completely wet from the rain.

All I found out is that none of these people seem to be interested in going to heaven. They all just kept speeding away as if I had Ebola on me. But seriously speaking, if you cannot help The Hater, how do you even live with yourself?

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or text me at +250 788 545293