Remember when I warned against giving professors too much resting time because they come up with silly rules against students? Well, after banning the bottle pants for students, that wasn’t enough.

When they saw girls wear dresses and skirts that can’t be easily measured, they went ahead to ban earrings, lipstick and even lip gloss. I am scared the next thing they are going to introduce is the veil for all girls. Now what is supposed to motivate us to go to class? 

One morning, for a moment, I thought I had new classmates. The very light skinned chic that I have been crushing on since the first day I set foot on campus is looking a little dark and she has cracked lips. My neighbour who usually flips her hair back and forth was holding her face in hope of people not recognising her real look.

In record time, the ladies couldn’t take it anymore. Their "rates” were dropping by the second. Now, you meet a girl as she enters the gate and she looks like a proper boy. As soon as she is safely in, she takes a sharp turn into a corner and pimps herself up. She comes out looking nothing like the one that walked in.

The university is about to put gatemen everywhere just to control these ladies. The number of break-ups that have happened since the makeup ban are uncountable. The natural ladies that had been ignored are now like hot cake.

The ladies I was chasing after no longer have anyone worth chasing. In fact, they are now chasing after me. I remember sending one of them so many WhatsApp messages and she would reply after a week with just "LOL” (laughing out loud) or "K” (okay).

At first I thought she had her chemistry symbols wrong, until I found out that she meant, "I really have nothing to say to you”. Now she sends me good morning and good night messages and asks me if I had lunch.

Yesterday I replied with "K”.

campusinspector@newtimes.co.rw