I’m not a nosey neighbour, and if it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation, I’d probably mind my own business. But on more than one occasion, I have heard heavy fights going on in my neighbour’s house and I suspect that her teenage son is hitting her. I say this because it is just the two of them, so unless strange men are coming in the night and beating her up, I think it’s the boy.

Plus, he is openly rude to her and shows no sign of respect for her whatsoever. I have tried talking to her but she pretends that everything is okay. Once, she had a seriously bruised face but lied and told me that she had tripped outside the gate. She won’t tell me anything.

I told her I had heard the fighting and asked her to report the matter to the police but she insisted it wasn’t what I thought it was. And she told me that if I went to the police then she would never forgive me.

I don’t know what is going on with her but it’s worrying and I’m close to reporting the case, only that she might deny it seeing as she asked me not to say anything. How can I help her because I’m actually scared for her?

Barbara, Kacyiru

The counselor’s thoughts...

Human beings love to stay in a peaceful environment free from suffering. Your concern about your neighbour’s situation is not being nosy or eavesdropping on her private life but rather a justifiable sign of social responsibility that you are exhibiting to detect such despicable acts of suffering and peril that this boy is inflicting on his mother. If such fighting escalates into serious tribulations and certainly death, then this will incriminate the entire community including you.

Your neighbour is undergoing ferocious subjugation and total humiliation by her own biological son yet she’s conflicted with the loyalty and passion she has for her only son thus fear of jeopardising his life for imprisonment. She could probably have fallen a victim of guilt concerning the cause of her beatings especially in the event where she deprives her son of his right to know the father. Her unusual reaction to contend the situation is quite puzzling.

Intervene regardless of whether she gets pissed with you; after all it’s her own life you’re fighting for. A nurse administers an injection inflicting pain on the patient but certainly, that pain causes healing. So invite professional counselors who are acquainted with empirical skills and tactics which provide appropriate solutions to problems and re-unite broken families.

Rehabilitation centres, local area authorities and religious leaders can play a vital role in bringing peace and tranquility to this family. Advise this mother to be a role model to her son in all spheres of life and explain to her the dangers of living a chaotic life. Teenage hood is a period of crisis with hypothetic deductive reasoning (rudely defensive and ready with unjustifiable answers) parents should know.

If the situation becomes unbearable, involve the police to explain the position of the law to the boy in consideration with assault and battery. Police is trained to examine the situation and provide remedies either socially or legally through juvenile courts for this case. Be a concerned citizen as not to leave it to ‘to whom it may concern’ because the reasons why human beings are social beings is not by the only fact that they are individualistic but because they offer care and support to others in the name of social responsibility.

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Your feedback: Readers advise Stella

If you care, report the case

Yves Muvunyi

A boy that beats up his mother or any other family member isn’t a normal human being. He is a beast and should be treated as a beast. That is so ruthless and the fact that you haven’t reported it also makes you a neighbour that doesn’t care at all. This should be reported.

Even his own family will suffer

Celestin Ndagijimana

His mother keeping it from the police isn’t helping the boy at all. If she really cared for him, she would report him or take him to a rehabilitation centre otherwise he is going to turn out to be the worst creature in future. Even to his own family.

Don’t wait for tragedy

Carolina Uwahozeho

Today he is beating up his mother but tomorrow it will be your life on the line. If someone can bruise his mother’s face then you can imagine what he can do to someone he isn’t related to. Report that case before it’s too late.

His mother is protecting him

Alegisi Franco

Mothers will always try to keep their children from trouble but this is a special case. It can only be handled by the authorities. She failed to protect him from acting that way a long time ago. Now it’s time for this boy to be handled by the authorities.

He needs rehabilitation

Maria Kwitonda

I don’t know if that mother has heard of a place called Iwawa. It is a rehab centre which takes cases like these and they are tamed to become better and more responsible citizens. There is always a chance for someone to change and I think for this boy, this is the chance.

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Shame on him

Frida Aine

How can someone be so disrespectful as to beat his own mother? What is that boy made of? Shame on him indeed and he should be reported. But most importantly, he should feel sorry for what he has done. We have many orphans that wish they had a mother and he is beating his mother? Shame on that fool indeed.

She needs to kick him out

Paul Niwabine

She shouldn’t even be living with him at all. He should be thrown out of the house for that reason.

He deserves life in prison

Bubu Nimana

What makes someone so stupid to that level? Alcohol, drugs? What? Let them sentence him to life imprisonment.

Find out the cause

Wendy Lubega

People do different things because of influence from different places. You should watch out for what is causing this.

You have delayed action

Anne Kisten Favour

Why haven’t you reported this case yet? I am surprised you are even asking.

You will regret your hesitance to report the issue

Ty Trust K

You either report this or you will soon get a knock on the door from the police asking about your neighbour that passed on (God forbid). But that could happen.

You need to help her now or it will get ugly

Vaccine Brandy

This situation isn’t going to change at all. If you don’t intervene she will keep taking beatings and that boy will just get worse. Report the case now if you care about her like you say you do.