Dear doctor;

I am 27 and not married. I have noticed over time that I have a thing for fellow girls but deep inside, I cannot come to agree with it. My two good friends say I could be one and that with time I will end up in gay relationship. I have not been dating in a long time and often men put me off. I keep saying I am still searching but end up admiring fellow girls. What do I do?

G.A

Dear G.A,

The attraction toward another person whether of same or another gender is purely natural and instinctive. Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectionate attraction that a person feels toward another person. Since centuries there have been homo and heterosexuals both. 

There are different theories as to why some people feel attraction to same sex, but no exact cause has been established. Sexual abuse during childhood, lack of affection from either mother or Father, strict upbringing, broken relationships, genetic factors,  among others, are some of the causes cited. But sexual orientation is different from sexual behaviour. One may feel attracted sexually to another person but may not make a physical relation. Some persons may have mixed feelings. As part of growing up due to hormonal changes, many adolescents may feel attracted to a person of the same sex, but they outgrow.

However, the ultimate choice of forming a relationship lies with an individual. If two adults form a consensual relation that does not harm another individual or society, then there is no harm in it and nothing to feel bad about.