After traversing the width and breadth of Mfashumwana Village a.k.a Kyererezi, as well as visiting the great SLECK, I was set to put on my shoes and return home.

Home? Yes, home is where your heart is.  I got back in time for the kick off of the Premiership. The premiership, what animal is that? Some of you may ask. 

Well, in the name of Modern Colonialism, we have been made to hate all that is ours as primitive and appreciate all that comes from abroad (Mzungu land) as good. 

Talk of the Premiership reminds me of many people in Rwanda and the neighbouring countries that have been eagerly waiting for the beginning of the English football season as if they are in England.

The MoCKA (Members of the Chain Keepers Association) breathed a sigh of relief at the close of May, as the Premiership was in recess. Not any more, the soccer has begun in big style. 

I just pity the MoCKA; they will have to bear with their partners returning home late in the guise of watching the Premiership matches.

A few years ago, Gafaranga left home after announcing that he was going to watch a Premiership football match between his favourite club, Arsenal and Man U at Car Wash.

While he was out, a friend of his came to call on him. His MoCKA innocently told the visitor where her better half had gone. 

The visitor being an ardent supporter of Man U smelt a rat, he knew the premiership table like the backside of his palm; there was no such a match for another week or so. 

The situation was only saved by the visitor’s mobile phone ringing and by the time he was through with the phone, Gafaranga’s MoCKA had dashed to the kitchen to bring the visitor a drink.

I have never understood why football players have to be given so much money while parts of the world are dying in abject poverty! 

Just imagine, a guy like David Beckham used to earn over and above the half a million dollars mark per month as his basic pay!

As for me, I swore never to own anything that aired the football live and so had many of my friends. In this city of ours, there is a new phenomenon by the name of STAR AFRICA LTD.

This creature is threatening to bring the premiership to the homes of all those who own it; that way, the MoCKA might be tempted to force us to watch the matches from home!

By the way, this reminds me of a friend whose wife so hated soccer that she equated it to her co-wife. One day, out of frustration, she decided to follow her husband to his favourite soccer spot. Maybe she could keep the chain on! 
Time after time, she went to every match with him. As she continued, the bug entered into her bloodstream. In the end she became more of an ardent soccer fan than her husband. 

The problem is she now literally drags the poor man to every soccer match, be it interesting or not. Moral of the story?

Never underestimate the power of the MoCKA, you could set a trap for them and end up falling into the same trap yourself. 

In the next ten or so months, you should be careful, watch the matches, but spare a lot of time for the MoCKAs lest they may become wild and spoil your season.

Contact: Mfashumwana@fastmail.fm