A few weeks ago, I was in Burundi searching for jobs. After completely failing on this mission, I jumped into a Yahoo bus heading back to Kigali. I had some little cash remaining in my pocket and my mind convinced me that if I stayed longer in Buja, I would use all the cash at the famous Odeon discotheque! 

So, as I approached the taxi park to board the Yahoo bus, my mind once again convinced me that I could gain something from this land. My mind told me that although I had failed to get a job, it would be considered a sin to leave empty handed. I therefore decided that I should at least hook myself to a future Diaspo bride! 

That is why I decided to hang around the bus and wait for a real good looking candidate to board. I just waited outside patiently and scrutinized each and every person who climbed into the bus. You would have thought that I was actually a security operative trying to catch an international terrorist. 

Before long, I spotted a fine looking candidate. She was dressed to kill. She must have been in her mid-20s. I told myself that this should be the right catch. As she climbed into the bus, I squeezed myself in the bus so that I could sit right next to her. She calmly found herself a seat by the window. Just as some rookie was trying to place his ‘you know what’ in the next seat, I dived in like a karate kid and sat comfortably.

Now my task was to get things into motion. I introduced myself as a local investor specializing in solar electricity. I told her that Africa needed solar electricity very badly and that is why I decided to relocate from my London offices and set up an office in the Kigali. 

In a flash, I gave her my business card which had been organized for me by Aggrey, a few weeks back. Her reception was quite warm and I knew that I had skipped the hardest hurdle. She too gave me her Kigali telephone number. She told me that she worked with an NGO in Kiyovu. Phew! This should be the right candidate indeed. Where else would you find yourself a candidate who is paid in dollars?

At the border post, I offered to buy her a drink. I knew that the process at the immigration offices would take us at least an hour and therefore I decided to give one more farewell swig to the Burundian version of Amstel. My companion ordered for a bottle of water.

We sat down for our drinks and continued to chat along. It was now time to collect our passports. We stood in the queue to receive them. When it was my companion’s turn to receive her travel document, she was told that her papers were overdue! She was asked to pay a heavy fine!

Oh? Why? She started to curse. She then composed some numbers on her cellular phone but her correspondents were not picking up. She turned to me and explained her predicament; "Please get me just two hundred dollars and I will refund you once we are in Kigali. I have to attend this very important meeting in Kigali and therefore I must cross the border. Please try your best!” 

Like an innocent sheep, I quickly removed the remaining cash in my pockets. It was around $180. I gave it to her so that she could pay up her penalty. She then requested me to leave the area so that she could resolve her problems in privacy.

I waited patiently in the bus. Finally she emerged with a wide smile on her face. She gave me a very nice hug followed by a nice thank you kiss. Wow! Things were falling in place, weren’t they? Anyways, we finally arrived in Kigali late in the evening. I offered her a lift in a taxi and promised to call her the next morning. I was sure that I had finally fallen in love. 

The next day, I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth in preparation to call my new catch. I figured that it was only respectful to speak to my future bride after brushing my teeth. "Allo, is this Annie?” I asked. "Yes it is Annie, how can I help you?” "Oh yes, it is Diaspoman the solar consultant. You remember me we traveled together from Buja yesterday” I explained. " Bujumbura together? What are you talking about? I never spoke to anyone on the bus yesterday! Are you dreaming?” Oops! 

Something was wrong! I tried to explain further "You don’t remember me? I even bailed you out at the immigration offices with some dollars?”

"Hey Mister” She said "I do not know you and I do not even want to know you! So please do not call me again – ever!” She then slammed and switched off her phone. I was perplexed. What had gone wrong really? As I slumped down on my bed, it dawned on me that I had been conned. Apparently, my Google search in Yahoo had not yielded the desired results.....