Hi guys

I know it is almost every girl’s dream to have their man introduce them to his family. However, for a woman my age, this couldn’t be scarier. I will be 46 this year and for a year now, I have been dating a 28-year-old guy. He is sweet and kind and hardworking, he motivates me and pushes me to do better, he is so mature, sometimes I think I’m the young one. To top it all off, he is one attractive fellow. I have never been married and had chosen to stick to flings as marriage seemed like a dream. But this time it is different. I fell in love and truth be told, I can see myself marrying him. Recently, he asked me to meet his parents and I fell instantly sick. I imagined the reception I will get when his parents see their son walking in with a woman twice his age. If it was my son, I’d be mad too! But he is serious about our relationship and wants a life with me, I just don’t think his family will approve, plus I’m officially too old to have kids. What if he wants one later? I love him so much and do not want to go through the trouble of falling in love with someone else all over again. 

Keisha

Your Advice (from Facebook and Twitter)

Luck doesn’t knock at the door every day. It has knocked at your door and now you want to shut it out? Talk about falling in love again. That isn’t guaranteed. You might think you can fall in love again and spend the rest of your life thinking about the 28-year-old who moved on.

You have a chance to be happy and if he is happy with you then go ahead and meet his parents. It’s not them that you are dating; it’s about you and him. 

As long as the two of you are content, nothing else matters. 

Goodman

__________________

I smell trouble. I can literally see his mother looking at you like a bug that needs to be aquashed. No woman wants to see her son date a woman twice his age, who by the way, is guaranteed to never give him kids. Are you crazy? Snap out of this and look for someone your own age. It is not fair to him, he is young and even though he doesn’t see it now, he will want kids eventually so be wise and let him go.

Grace

_______________________

I think if the two of you love each other the way you say you do, then nothing else matters. Even if his parents wont be thrilled by news (you don’t even know that for sure, you might be shocked),  it’s his life not theirs and he will stand by you no matter what. Love doesn’t come around everyday so grab it  and don’t let go.

Judith K

_______________

The Men Respond

Stop being selfish

Keisha, it seems to me that you are too selfish to think about the life of that young man. I wouldn’t mind the age difference but if we are talking about having children, things take a different turn. Right now he might tell you that he doesn’t care if he has children with you or not because duh, he’s in love and you know what they say about love. 

However, later in life, with pressure from family, friends and society he will want a kid and not an adopted child, and then trouble will set it. If you love him like you say you do, sit him down and explain to him how the situation might turn out to be disastrous for him. He still has a whole life ahead of him; please don’t make him regret his decision. 

Secondly, don’t allow him to introduce you to his family. You already think that his family might not like you because of your age but you’ll make it worse if you can’t give him a child. You’ve been single for such a long time, been in and out of love; for the sake of this young man’s happiness, move on. You can proceed with the ‘arrangement’ you two have in place but advise him to find another person. It is a difficult decision but I think this is the time where you have to be the older and mature person in the relationship. 

Dean, 29, is single

______________

It might not be as bad as you think

Kesha, there is a mighty chance that you could be over-thinking and

afraid. Your boyfriend well knows that you are a few years older than  him and he is okay with it, he is well aware that your chances of conceiving are slim and he is still with you. Why do you have to stress yourself then? 

Whichever way it turns out, whether or not his parents like you, it doesn’t matter much. Whether or not they approve of the relationship, they cannot make life choices for their son. 

Go along for the introduction, act your age and whatever happens after the introduction, the two of you will still be together. 

You said that he is smart, and mature, he sounds like someone who is well aware of what they are signing up for. There is a line of thought often subscribed to that the parents have to give blessings before one gets married, there must be exceptions to that rule, this is one of them.  Good luck!

Collins, 27, is married

______________

This is a bad idea

You are really going to go through with this? You are already scared about what they will say about you but you are still thinking about facing it. Let me put it for you this way; you will get married to this young man, three years down the road there will be no child and he will then think of how empty life is without one and change his mind. Are you up for that?

No matter how much a man says he loves you, children will always come first, eventually. 

His mother, who will also want a grandchild, will start putting ideas into his head and the next thing you know; you have a co-wife, young enough to give him kids. I wouldn’t encourage you to go down that road. I know love is powerful, but don’t let your emotions overpower your intelligence. 

This 28-year-old isn’t supernatural. Just like you fell in love with him, you can also fall in love with another - one with a more realistic perspective than just love. 

Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship.