Are there times you feel like you’re being taken advantage of? 

It can be annoying, especially when you don’t do it yourself. If I want a cup of tea, I’ll go get it. If I need to print something, I’ll make the trip to the opposite end of the building and pick the documents. If the small bin in our room is full, I will not ask someone else to empty it, especially if I put more trash in there than anybody else. 

So, why do other people keep asking me to do these things for them? Like I have all the time in the world and nothing better to do? Out of respect, since many are good friends, I usually oblige because I don’t want to be rude but I think I need to voice my grievances.

I remember helping someone move into a new house. I’ve never felt as exhausted as I did that day. There were many things to carry, most heavy and she was reluctant to pay boys in the neighbourhood to help out, fearing they’d steal her things even though it was broad daylight. 

There’s another guy whose test results should bear my name since I do all his coursework. Last week, he told me (not requested) that "we” will be working on his research paper soon. 

I remember sweating with mine, walking all the way to the offices of those I was to interview because I didn’t have transport, arriving late for some appointments because of that or getting there on time but being told to return the following day or week because the boss was too busy. 

Eventually, I managed to get all the data I wanted and I got down to typing and editing my work and when I submitted my dissertation, I felt so proud of myself. That is why I don’t understand how these buddies of mine are comfortable with someone else doing their dirty work.

While I like to help, I don’t want anyone to take me for granted and think, "Oh I can count on Sophie to do this or that for me.” Most importantly, if I give you my time or advice, you should take it and if you don’t like it or it won’t work for you, at least let me know. 

Right now, I’m unhappy with Sandra, one of the ladies I work with, who told me sometime back that her cousin is getting married soon and they need a decorator ASAP. She asked if I knew anyone and I told her I have a friend whose mum doubles as caterer and decorator so they’d be killing the proverbial two birds with one stone. 

I made the calls and left the rest to the concerned parties. Weeks later, I receive a text from Josie, my other friend, thanking me for sending her mum a difficult client. Turns out Sandra opted for a different decorator after getting my friend’s mum to cancel any bookings for July 19, the date of the wedding. So much for helping!