Family need not be a wretched institution

It’s an undeniable fact that the institution of family today is under siege from a number of sources. Families are overwhelmed by divorce cases, there’s a crisis in spousal roles, parents don’t provide their children enough attention, families don’t spend enough time together, financial problems are causing deep schisms among many other problems. 

Saturday, May 24, 2014

It’s an undeniable fact that the institution of family today is under siege from a number of sources. Families are overwhelmed by divorce cases, there’s a crisis in spousal roles, parents don’t provide their children enough attention, families don’t spend enough time together, financial problems are causing deep schisms among many other problems. 

From the bible, we learn that family is of divine purpose and origin. The Holy Book also offers us some vital guidelines through which we can foster ideal relationship when it comes to cohesion in family. Though many people today turn away from God’s word, deep commitment to biblical principles and teachings remain the best hope through which we can safeguard this important institution and recover ideal family life.

From the book of Genesis, the creation story should form a model by which we should lead our family lives, and know which responsibilities God assigned each and every individual. God created us so that we may need, and find some fulfillment in our human companionship. Genesis 2: 18 says, "The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him,’” while Genesis 2:24 says, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.”

However, a number of people soon regret after walking down the aisle why they struggled to marry the spouses they married when confronted by problems that are prevalent in matrimony.

As a Christian couple, what should you do when unforeseen problems crop up in your marriage? Mr. Jean Paul Habimana, 58, a Christian who worships at St. Michael in Kiyovu says that he’s been married to his wife for over 30 years now, and like normal couple, they have had their fair share of ups and downs. However, he hastens to add that their marriage is anchored on strong religious principles and anytime they had issue, they always rush to the bible to give them direction on how to solve it.

"The main problem affecting the family today is that we don’t seek divine guidance when confronted with major issues. A family should sit together and communicate with each other any time some problem arises. Through this, they will be able to understand each other without resorting to selfishness that breaks up many families,” he says.

Habimana suggests that when a family is faced by a problem that they cannot solve from within, then the best option is to seek spiritual guidance from a marriage counselor or a religious leader who is in a position to provide them with sound advice on how they can solve the issue before it gets out of hand.

He observes that contrary to biblical teachings that wives should submit themselves to their husbands, many of them today go out of their way to compete with their husbands, thus upsetting the hierarchical structure which God established. "Children are also instructed to obey their parents, though today, this is not observed in many families,” he says.

He adds that men were also given certain responsibilities to be the heads of their households and many have gone astray, leaving the family confused and this also leads to the breakup of the family.

According to Liberty University Online Christian magazine and quoting from Ephesians 5:21-33: "When a husband is committed to demonstrating love for his wife, and a wife is committed to graciously allowing her husband to lead, the marriage will work.”