I met Sandra several years ago at a small bookshop in town. A friend’s birthday was days away and I thought a good book would make a nice present.

A nice lady, who as I later learnt owned the store, recommended Purpose Driven Life, a book I hadn’t read myself. My friend loved it. 

I would have forgotten all about Sandra but weeks later, I forgot my Bible in a Taxi and so I returned to the bookstore. This time, Sandra gave me a discount and that marked the start of a long-term friendship. Unfortunately, she closed the shop to take up a counseling job in South Africa. We still email each other and once in a while, she calls. We joke about her connecting me to an ‘overseas’ job and I know if there was any opportunity, she would tell me about it. 

She’s that kind of person. Kind, thoughtful and never forgets friends. I find that surprising because life hasn’t been kind to her. Her father died when she and her brother were four and six respectively. In fact, she doesn’t remember much of her dad.

Her mother struggled to raise the children and keep them in school. The family was to suffer more tragedy when her brother died of meningitis at just 10. Sandra and her mother became even closer. Months out of secondary school, Sandra met the man who would become her husband. He was an engineer and she admits that initially, she only consented to the relationship because it was the only way she would be able to pay for her diploma. 

With time, she learnt to love him and by 1992, they had two children. Sandra started to believe that things were finally starting to turn around for her. She got a nursing job and was able to rent a decent house for her mother. 

Her husband encouraged her to upgrade and after three applications, she got into one of the nursing schools in the United Kingdom. The family didn’t have a lot of money to spare so they agreed that she would only return for a visit at the end of her first year of study. She thought about leaving the children with her mother, but her husband assured her he would handle it. So in September 1993, she set off for England, not knowing it was the last time she would see her family that, like thousands of Rwandans, perished in the dreadful 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi.

It was years before she regained her will to live and confesses she attempted suicide at least three times. Counselling has helped and that is why she decided to take up her current job. She wants to help others heal.

I wish I were more like Sandra, especially during this commemoration period when those who lost their loved ones need to be comforted.

To be continued...