On Monday, I received a text message from a girl who lived in my neighbourhood. 

We used to say hullo to each other whenever we met, but we were hardly the kind of neighbours who popped at each other’s home to catch up on a favourite Soap or get some sugar.

I haven’t heard from her in over six months, but that didn’t stop her from asking to borrow Rwf100, 000 with a promise to pay back in a few days. She told me to send it via mobile money. I was troubled by her message. 

You do not send a text message when you want that kind of help unless you’re one’s mother, close relative or friend. What if the text went to a wrong number? Secondly, you cannot set the terms when seeking favours. Did she really think I would run to the nearest agent and wire what I consider a substantial amount, just like that? 

The times I’ve had to borrow, I felt nervous while approaching a potential creditor—nearly changed my mind. The other thing is that I don’t just ask anyone. I believe you must have a certain relationship before asking them for money from someone.

I actually go over what to say and how to say it, if not to compel them, to at least let them know that I don’t take them for granted and expect them to come to my rescue at a moment’s notice. When I owe anyone money, I’m not really at ease, especially if it’s someone I see regularly, say a workmate.

If anything to do with money comes up in a conversation, even with other people, my sensors go up. "Is he or she wondering when I will pay them back?” I feel the same when salary delays and I’m forced to pay the rent late. 

I’m careful not to buy or eat anything that would be considered too costly because I don’t want anyone to think I’m not prioritising them. That is why I’m surprised every time someone claims they forgot to clear a debt. 

Back to the text: I thought about not replying. If I ran into her, I’ll act clueless, I thought to myself. However, ‘love thy neighbour’ kept ringing in my head and I decided to reply. I told Maureen that I would have loved to help but didn’t have money at the moment. It was after sending the message that I realised I’d backed myself into a corner. Sure enough, a few minutes later, I received another message inquiring when I thought I’d have the money. The nerve! I didn’t reply that one.

I don’t know where this girl lives or works and those are two crucial things one needs to know if they’re going to dish money to anyone. The reason we find it easy to help colleagues is that we know when salaries are paid and probably even know how much they earn. So there’s no way they’re going to lie come payday. If they refuse to pay, you can always appeal to HR and whatever is owed can then be deducted from the borrower’s salary. With money, you have to be aggressive or risk being taken advantage of.