The other day, I was talking to a friend of mine, currently in a long-term relationship, and the topic of finances came up. In my life so far, I have come to realise men and women deal with money completely differently.

Women will ‘make dimes’ and you will never know but let payday come for most dudes and he will be in the bar buying all his friends drinks and lending everyone money while he is at it. I know these are generalisations but from my life experience that is simply my observation.

My friend and I have been friends for years but I don’t think I have ever really discussed finances with her but if she needed money, I would definitely help her out. Anyway, the conversation we had was more about her sharing details about her finances with her boyfriend.

My belief is that couples should never mix or discuss their finances with each other unless they are getting married, living together or someone needs to borrow money from the other. It is simply none of their business how much one makes or how much is in their savings account if they are not that serious.

She felt that there should be no secrets within relationships and keeping her finances to herself was a form of hiding something from her man. I told her not to think that way because I brought up the point that how comfortable would her man be if he found out she made more than him? Is he one of those dudes whose ego cannot stand the idea of his woman making more money than him? And what if it destroys their relationship?

Yes, we live in the 21st century where women have their own independence but a lot of our men are not ready to accept this notion.

In the past, I have also talked to different women who have broken up with their boyfriends because even though they had steady jobs, they were constantly broke and would share their problems with them but once their buddies asked for a loan, they would always find a way to make it happen.

This can cause issues because the woman in this relationship may wonder why she is out paying for dinners and other activities, if her man is out giving loans. This would not happen if people took turns paying for date nights or found ways to have cheap date nights and if the couple didn’t share what they spend their money on.

So 21st century woman, at what point in a relationship do you share the details of your finances?