This girl and I have been best friends for the longest time. We grew up together, went to school together and generally have been in each other’s lives for what seems like an eternity. A year ago, she started dating this guy, who, to be honest, I didn’t like from the start.

At first, I just felt he was too much into himself and that alone disgusted me. She tried to get me to go on double dates with them (and my boyfriend) but I always made up excuses. I honestly didn’t know how to tell her that I couldn’t stand the man. Anyway, one day I was out with colleagues and I ran into him.

I felt I was being polite when I stood to talk to him for a while but five minutes into the aleady awkward conversation, he started declaring his undying hots for me. Apparently he wishes he had met me first! What the hell?

I was so disgusted I retired early and spent half the night wondering what to tell my friend who seemed so in love with the douche! But I’m afraid it will blow up in my face yet I can’t bear to watch her date such a man. Please advise.

Tanya

Just let them be

Have you considered that he was probably drunk? Even if he was not drunk, are you willing to be your sister’s keeper who tells on everything the boyfriend does?

As much as you like your friend it is probably best to let her figure it out for herself. No matter how much you like her, you cannot be the one who approves of who she goes out with or who she dates.

You may not approve of who she chooses to go out with but telling her to drop him is clearly not the way to go. Refusing to hang out with him on double dates would be a good way to avoid him if you do not like him.

Give them time and let them be, let them handle their stuff or break up on their own accord, but it should not come from you, you should never at any point be mentioned as the cause of their separation.

About him saying he wishes he had met you first, never mind, guys say a lot of things, half of them which they do not mean.

Collins, 26, is married

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If you are truly friends, she will believe you

I don’t understand how you have waited this long. She has known you all her life and the "douche” just a year! If she really values your friendship, she will definitely trust you and not him. There are no two ways about it, tell your friend right away – you owe her that. That is of course if you really love her. 

If he is bold enough to hit on you, just try to imagine how many other girls he is hitting on and perhaps sleeping with? It’s not easy telling someone that the person they love is up to no good but you might just be saving her from heartbreak and worse – HIV/Aids.

Look at it this way, if the roles were reversed, would you want to know? And most importantly, how would you react? She might react, that’s only natural, you can’t expect her to take the news with smiles and hugs so be patient with her.

Don’t think twice about it. If you tell her and she gets dramatic and takes her anger out on you, worry not. Keep telling yourself that it was the best thing to do and that you meant well. She will come around. But don’t beat yourself up.

Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship

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Mind your own business

I’m not going to applaud you for being so noble as to not give in to your friend’s boyfriend. The fact that you didn’t like your best friend’s boyfriend says a lot about you. I wonder if you have some supernatural powers that alert you when someone is in danger. Are you jealous?

So, the guy hit on you, move on. Why are you still thinking about it? The fact that you are her best friend doesn’t mean that you have to tell her everything or if you think you have to, then go ahead but prepare yourself for the disastrous outcome.

You should understand that a guy (not all) in their nature, hitting on a girl comes as easy as a soldier firing his gun. His only crime was that he hit on his girlfriend’s best friend but you can’t be sure that your boyfriend hasn’t hit on other girls.

You might argue that you care about your best friend but even that has boundaries. Here is what you are going to do; forget it ever happened and start supporting your friend’s choice. You make it sound like it’s a big deal. No, it is not. Get over it "Virgin Mary”. 

Dean, 28, is single