The start of another school year means the beginning of a new season of complaints by parents: from heavy school bags to child’s apathy towards studies, exam pressures, fear of teachers and unhealthy competition.

However, psychologists and principals say that it is time parents opened up a bold line of communication with teachers and took greater responsibility for their child’s academic outlook.

"Irrespective of the fees and quality of the schools, real education always occurs at home,” says educational counsellor Sadanand Ghaskadvi. "If you give clear signals to the child that understanding is more important than marks, and making mistakes is alright, children will not feel the strain,” he said.

Though each primary school has weekly parent-teacher meetings, experts say that parents are more occupied with superficial issues and neglect the core ones. Says Sudhir Phatak, principal of Millennium National School, "Parents never discuss real issues like teaching methods, reasoning behind evaluation techniques or even the syllabus.”

Hema Honwad, a teacher for 25 years and convenor of teacher-training programmes, says parents should be aware of their rights and make it clear to teachers that they will stand no nonsense from schools.

"Parents are scared that their child will be taunted or punished by teachers, or get thrown out of school. That is why they remain quiet and the child ends up suffering,” she says.

Bharati Patankar, mother of two primary-school students, says: "Competition is initiated by schools. Parents should not succumb to it, but have a realistic understanding of their child’s limits and abilities.”

Since parents invest money in schools, they may naturally expect better things in return, but psychologists say that the key is to work with the teachers, and not against them.

Ghaskadvi says: "Just like with chemotherapy, you have to prepare your child for the side-effects of schooling. If in schools they are made to provide answers, at home, children should be encouraged to ask questions.”

Clinical psychologist Shirisha Sathe says parents should not always offer children a structured programme revolving around school and hobby classes. "Allow children to find their own solutions to boredom,” she says.

Ghaskadvi insists that if the child can think logically, uses language well, and can process information, success in schools will follow. "Associate everything he studies in schools to real-life situations. Make sure the child understands why he needs to study subjects like history, geography or maths and develop his interest,” he says.

Keeping tabs of what goes on in schools takes no more than 30 minutes of the parent’s daily time. "Listen more to the child. Have open discussions everyday and give importance to concept-formation, not memorisation,” says Ghaskadvi.