Several years ago, I plotted to ensure that Aggrey remained single.

I did not want him to find a serious girlfriend who could easily become his wife. I knew that once Aggrey was hooked, I would lose certain rights!

One example of the rights I would miss would be that of being his escort everywhere he went. The places that I would miss most were pubs, bars and expensive restaurants where I always ended up guzzling free booze as we hang out with Aggrey’s rich friends. 

Another thing that I would miss was free accommodation. I could picture his fiancée screaming at the top of her voice "Do you think that this is a lodge? Are you not man enough to pay rent for your own apartment? If you are not out of this place in three hours, I will call the police to evict you!”

With those unpleasant words ringing at the back of my mind, I realised more than ever that I would be the winner if Aggrey remained single for life.

So you can imagine my happiness when on one evening, Aggrey called me. He was at the then famous Kiyovu hotel and he was sobbing uncontrollably. He had just been dumped by his girlfriend for some unknown reasons. Aggrey called me up so that I could listen to his sad stories. So I quickly hopped onto a boda-boda and headed straight to the Kiyovu restaurant. 

I found him cuddled up in a corner in a miserable state. He had floored a whole bottle of Red wine and was now ordering for Jack Daniels whiskey.

Since I was already so thirsty, I ordered for an ice cold Amstel. I first gulped down the whole bottle before uttering one word. Now that my body had received that much needed fuel, I was ready to start my engine.

I began by apologizing to Aggrey; "Please forgive me for having not advised you about ladies. You see, they are not the answer to all our problems. You see, you are better off as a single man. Besides, you have many reliable friends to keep you company. Even me I have resisted the idea of looking for my own house because I know that you will be very lonely. That is why I have always stayed at your house”. The truth of the matter is that I had put up in Aggrey’s house because I had remained jobless for many years.

While Aggrey was pondering on my advice, some other ladies in the room came marching towards our direction. Apparently they had overheard my comments about ladies. They had a bone to pick with me. "Do you know that we can have you arrested, Mister? How can you claim that ladies are not the answer to your problems? Are you a male chauvinist?” I started to fidget. I had no choice but to apologise. "Okay, we forgive you, but only on one condition: You have to come with us for the National women’s day celebrations on 8th March!”