When I got my first epileptic seizure, I didn’t know that it would one day leave me heartbroken. I didn’t have many friends and was often isolated. 

During my secondary years and university, I prayed to God that I would find an understanding husband who would not be ashamed of me. Unfortunately, I never found a man who was serious about me and many of them took off the second I told them about my condition. I felt so lonely and wondered why of all people God had chosen me to have such a condition. 

I concentrated on my career, got a Masters degree and a nice paying job. The attacks reduced in my mid-thirties and it is around that time that I met Sam (not real name). He was caring and fun. After dating for over a year, we started planning moving in together and having a baby. Sam suggested that I visit his family because his family wanted to know the girl their son was going to stay with. 

Since Sam had visited my parents, I agreed but that is a mistake I regret to date. His siblings were quite warm; very receptive and charming. His father said little - but not his mother. She started questioning me about every single detail of my life. 

All this felt like an interrogation, I started feeling uneasy, annoyed and frustrated. I can’t recall exactly what happened during the conversation but when I regained my senses, Sam told me that I clenched and unclenched my hands, my eyes fluttered and I drooled and fell to the ground, shaking vigorously. 

As Sam’s siblings tried to help me, his mother, I’m told, looked on in shock. Sam’s sister took me to her bedroom and helped me clean up. I couldn’t wait to get back home. 

Sam held off on our planned arrangement of moving in together saying he wanted to first buy some furniture. My antennae alerted me of possible danger ahead but I ignored the alert. Sam started distancing himself from me; he would not pick my calls, reply my texts or check on me regularly like he used to do. 

It hurt me so much because this is when I needed him most. After a month, he came and told me that we had to end the relationship. His reason was that he was told by his mother that epilepsy is biological and can spread to our children. I tried to explain to him that none of my parents was epileptic and it is a problem that can happen to anyone but he wouldn’t hear it. 

I was devastated and humiliated. It was so hard for me to let go, to move on and be normal again. I had a feeling that from that point on, I would be judged based on circumstances beyond my control. 

As told to Karemera Dean