I got a wake-up call over the weekend while talking to a wise old man. He told me about his life and lessons learnt the hard way, he said something that made a lot of sense to me. 

He told me: "Young man, make sure you are fully part of anything that you do and any person you befriend. Cake can never be complete without the flour.”

As I walked home I started to think about what the old man had told me.  There are things that go hand-in-hand and can’t be separated, just like flour in a cake. One thing that life cannot do? It can’t take who you are away from you.

In other words, who are you, really? Think about it. Strip yourself down to the bare essence of your soul. This is not about your title at work because that doesn’t define you. 

Who are you without your high-flying friends, without the Samsung Galaxy S3, without the exquisite dinners and without that car? Who are you stripped down to?

Do you exhibit honour, character and honesty? What defines you is that very essence that cannot be separated from you. We are so caught up in shallow situations that are just plain wrong. I know a guy who has been married for about eight years now and he knew within months after marrying this woman that she was not the woman for him. For reasons best known to him, he has never left her.  

Then another man I know provides for his wife well and loves her unconditionally. He usually accompanies her to her karaoke sessions but that’s as far as it goes. However much the wife insists on his participation, he constantly turns down the request because that’s where he draws the line. Not to sound like I’m meddling in their affairs but why should the man hold the microphone if he’s not into it? Some men would do it just to please their woman but not this man. He knows who he is and a karaoke singer isn’t one of them. 

I have a friend who had a good job as a finance executive for Stanbic Bank in Uganda but his creative spirit kept calling out. He left and is now a creative director at Scanad Marketing and Branding Agency. 

He is happy coming up with creative branding ideas for companies - including the bank he was working for.

What is the one thing about you that you can never be separated from? I’m a writer and it’s more than just a job to me. Even though I studied Business Computing, writing is my passion and the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do. I pray I never mess it up.