My children love going to church on Sunday. They always wake up early, bathe, dress up and wait for me to drive them to church. Unfortunately, I work long hours all week and find it almost impossible to be up early on Sunday. I have disappointed them many times and I’m now beginning to feel guilty. What can I do?

Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Your children, like many other children, have a number of expectations of their parents. Children always expect their parents to meet their needs, especially when parents make a promise, whether it’s implicit or explicit. As parents, when we realize we cannot keep the promise, it is best to take time to explain the reason to our children rather than to go on as though nothing happened. Our children need to learn that their parents cannot meet all of their needs and at times, a word is not always fulfilled. After all, life is not a straight line. 

However, depending on the child’s age, you will have to explain yourself and your inability to follow through with your word. In your case, you need rest on Sunday morning, but your children are expecting you to drive them to church. If you can tell them on Saturday evening that you won’t take them to church, it will be easier for them to manage the disappointment rather than informing them when they are ready. That will only burst their bubble. If they routinely get ready for church every Sunday morning when they are not sure you can drive them, then they might be trying to send a message that their desire to go to church is a serious one. 

Psychology experts say that keeping promises is one of the key elements to build trust with our children. You can discuss the matter with them and do your best to implement what you agree upon. 

Answered by Martine Kagabo,  a mother and principal of Wellspring Academy

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