I slipped on my favourite black dress, matched it with a red purse and red shoes; my jewellery was red too. I stood in front of the mirror and admired myself. I loved what I saw.

 It was Valentine’s Day and I did not have anyone to take me to dinner so I called up my cab driver and told him to take me to some new restaurant in town that everyone was on about.  

While I sat there quietly enjoying my dinner and watching couples walking in hand in hand, others seated and telling themselves absolutely nothing sensible, I kept looking around and despising them for no other reason other than being in love!

Anyway fast forward, I thank the gods that led me out of the house that night because I might never experience a better Valentine’s Day than that one. I was treated to free drama when some random babe walked in looking for her ‘boyfriend’ -  again I thank the gods or the little demons that whispered in her ear and told her where to find them.

This chic walked in wearing jeans and a tee shirt and from the look on her face, she was ready to spill blood. She was shouting at the top of her voice, Where are they? Where?

For some reason the Celine Dion song playing just stopped and now I could easily hear her; I swear to God I was like a dog that had seen a bone, I was salivating for a fight. I’m terrible right? 

Anyway, I saw some dude and some chic trying to sneak out and I alerted the roguish babe, "They are here running” I said.

And like some sort of possessed thing she turned around, eyes red and looking like something similar to a wild animal. She sprinted like the wind, run after them, caught up with them while they were getting inside the car and bit the other babe’s ear before they could quickly drive off. 

All this time I was following her around like she had a magnet pulling me towards her. 

I watched her spit out blood and ask for a toothpick to remove human flesh from her teeth but not before she told the askaris that her car was being stolen.

They believed her. She left with the police and only God knows where this fight ended up.

To all you ladies that stoop so low and fight for men, I think you are nuts! STOP IT!