Can we be “just friends”?

There’s the age old discussion about if a mutual relationship can exist between a man and woman with no strings attached. It’s an interesting debate to say the least.

Thursday, February 20, 2014
Dean Karemera

There’s the age old discussion about if a mutual relationship can exist between a man and woman with no strings attached. It’s an interesting debate to say the least.

It’s absurd that for some people, it’s next to impossible to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex with no sexual intentions (unless they are related). But, it is possible. 

I’m no expert about the rules of the dating game but the few I know are a result of spending time with the fairer sex on a friendly level. It helps pick their brain on certain aspects of the dating game that I would otherwise not get from the guys. Guys are somewhat pessimists when it comes to dating as opposed to women. "Dude, if she didn’t return your call, then she wants nothing to do with you”. 

At the risk of generalising the scenario, getting the female view is a valuable thing to have if you are trying to date a woman. However confusing women tend to be, there’s a lot to learn about their behaviour by being around them. Trying to understand women shouldn’t include a romp in the sheets because sex has nothing to do with getting to know a person. 

With my limited knowledge about dating, I’ve tried to advise my friends how to treat women. I tell them to be respectful and honest while dealing with women, hoping the ladies they come across won’t suffer some unnecessary romantic trauma or embarrassment. 

One of my closest confidants happens to be a girl; she used to tell me "treat your lady the way they would want your sister to be treated”. I always look up to her for advice (trust me, no benefits involved). We’ve built an honest and valuable friendship.

More often than not, I hear that women and men can’t be ‘just friends’, and if it happens, one of the two secretly admires the other. This is completely wrong. For starters, I’ve always had female friends and I’m a standard guy. I’ve had great, long-term friendships with women that I once had feelings for or even got to know on a more personal level. Most, if not all, of my exes are my close friends that we even talk about our current relationships with other people. You come to realise that the reasons that led to your connection are different from the ones you had originally thought. Love doesn’t have to be romantically linked; it can also come in form of friendship. 

Women are not good resources when you need some relationship advice (or telling you how to match your clothes) they are pretty fun to hang around. 

By surrounding yourself with dudes only, you are doing yourself a great disservice. Once you allow yourself to have a few women friends in your life, you will soon discover that there’s another sort of love that is almost equal to the kind that comes with romance attached!