The school gates are an ‘evil’ place. Evil because they are a breeding ground for plenty of resentment. There’s the resentment between the children; those who are dropped off in a Mercedes versus those who are dropped off on a moto taxi or worse, those who walk to school.

Then there’s the resentment between the parents, especially the mothers. There is the ‘flirty Fiona’ with her sexy floaty dresses and perfect heels and makeup without a hair out of place versus the ‘frumpy Frances’ in her thick soled sensible walking shoes, man’s shirt and office trousers and her hair is already all over the place at 7:00am, it’s no wonder she looks hassled. There are many classifications in-between but the resentment mostly builds between the two extremes.

I would like to think I am not the only mother that notices the drama that unfolds at the school gates. One would think that the fathers interact more with the ‘flirty Fionas’. Well, I am sure they like to watch them secretly but the men daren’t be caught in conversation with ‘flirty Fiona’ lest a friend of the Mrs. reports back the news.

Surprisingly ‘frumpy Frances’ gets a lot of male attention because the guys feel that they can dismiss her as the stressed freak who is in much need of help. So this is how the drama unfolds:

•‘Flirty Fiona’ resents ‘frumpy Frances’ for seemingly taking all the male attention.

•‘Frumpy Frances’ resents all the guys for striking up conversations seemingly out of pity.

• All the guys resent it when ‘flirty Fiona’ chooses to ignore their wife and treats them like a long lost friend only when the wife is around.

Everybody then gangs up to resent the ‘serious Sarahs’. I also resent ‘serious Sarah’. She is the particularly annoying type who for some reason is always well groomed with a natural elegance and exudes a sense of purpose in every step she makes. 

‘Serious Sarah’ has two sets of twins but her children are well behaved and they never throw tantrums at the school gate.

I resent her because she always has her children listening at first instruction, no questions asked.

• The ‘flirty Fionas’ hate the way she commands respect from the men and they cannot fault her sense of style either.

• The ‘frumpy Frances’ resent her elegance and how she always seems to be in control

• The guys resent the way she intimidates them.

• The teachers find her overbearing and the school principal is ill at ease around her.

But since ‘serious Sarah’ is also an ever ready, ever willing volunteer for all the school activities, be it catering for the Parent-teachers’ meeting to coordinating the holiday programme, she is an invaluable asset to the school whichever way you look at it.

Yes it’s true. School gate drama is really not about the children at all; they forget everything the moment they meet their friends. The parents on the other hand live through all the drama and some of us are entertained by it.

I always look forward to spotting someone who has had a more hectic morning than I. And that’s why I say school gates = evil!