There was a time when Nice Biscuits were actually nice. 

Those who went to boarding schools remember the tasty treat that left us wanting more. 

I can’t say the same of the type in the market today. If you doubt this, go and buy a packet and tell me they don’t taste like paper.

I’m not a great baker, but even the biscuits we made in our Home Economics classes tasted a lot better. Someone at the factory must have tampered with the recipe and in the unlikely event that they’re reading this, please bring the old Nice back. 

Oh, and do something about the packaging. The biscuits are not uniformly stacked, with some facing up and others down. I also noticed that some rows have four and others five. Yes, I counted them and came to the conclusion that whoever does the stacking miscounts on purpose. Take three biscuits out of six packets and you’ll have a seventh. 

I mentioned before that I like consistency, especially if it’s a brand. It shouldn’t matter whether I buy the product in Kampala, Nairobi or Kigali. It should taste, look or feel the same. Have you tried locally made potato crisps? They can’t even get the same shape in the very same pack.

Friends wonder why I don’t switch to Pringles and I tell them that apart from the cost, I find them (Pringles) too salty and they don’t really taste like deep-fried crisps. Then there’s bread. Some brands are okay but others smell like they were baked over firewood. Like the biscuits, there seems to be a different recipe every other week.

Sometimes, it’s nicely sliced and other times, you’re stuck with uneven pieces. There’s also the issue of labelling. You scan the ingredients and clearly sugar is one of them. You even ask the attendant just to be sure, only to get home and it’s salty! Others say it’s white when it’s actually yellow. 

I’ve also paid more for what I thought was chocolate bread but as it turned out, there was not even a drop of cocoa anywhere. It was my dissatisfaction with the bread in the supermarkets in my neighbourhood that led me to Simba Supermarket’s pastry section.

I don’t know about you but their bread is quite nice. There’s one problem though. I have to go all the way across Town to buy it because while they do supply other retailers, you’ll only find salty bread. That’s how I found myself having to go every Saturday because that’s when I have time. 

When I got there, I was told to return in three hours as the bread was still being prepared. I didn’t have any other errands to run so I just decided to forget about the bread. The following Saturday, I again went and this time, I was told it was ready but still hot and so couldn’t be sliced right away. I was asked to wait an hour, which I couldn’t since I’d just sneaked out of office. Once again, I left empty-handed. 

Days went by and it was Saturday again. This time, I was told they were out of sweet bread because so many shoppers had turned up on Friday night. I asked one of the salesgirls why they couldn’t just bake more and she shrugged. 

She reminded me of another shop, close to home, that delights us with fruits only to go dry for days on end. Most people have children so pineapples, bananas and avocados aren’t going to stay on the shelf long. Why then can’t the lady who runs it just stock up? 

And there is the proprietor of my favourite cosmetics shop. I bought some nice lipstick there but when I returned when it was used up, it was out of stock. I couldn’t find it anywhere else. I even tried to contact the manufacturers online in vain.

To be continued...