I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and four months now. I found out this week that he’s been texting an 18-year-old and he’s 32 years old for crying out loud. She isn’t his relative and I doubt they are friends. He says I am over looking into things and that even though we are dating, it shouldn’t stop him from talking to people.

I am very confused and every time I try talking to him, he dismisses the issue as utter rubbish. Now every time he’s on his phone I can’t help but think of the worst. Am I overreacting? 

Jennifer 29

Quit being a drama queen

At 29 you must be a little insecure that younger girls have what your boyfriend would be looking for. You are afraid that he might want to test some fresh meat.  It is this insecurity that could drive him away. It is such insecurity that could cause him to have second thoughts. As a grown man, he has a right to have friends of any sex and any age, you judging him could cause him to go ahead and go out with her to prove a point.

I am sure you also have male friends who call you up often or text you without wanting to sleep with you. What would you do if he showed insecurity and accused you of infidelity?

Don’t let the demons in your head get to you and ruin your love life, over thinking could be worse than you think.

Collins, 26, is married

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Dump the perv!

I really don’t think you are overreacting. It’s just normal that you feel that way and most ladies in a relationship would feel the same way. There is a problem with him though, actually, I would say many problems. First off, it’s not hard to see that you’re upset; he should be interested in understanding why and doing what he can to make you feel better.

Secondly, I think you have a boyfriend with a wandering eye. What’s a 32-year-old man doing texting an 18-year-old girl anyway? I’m sure he’s not texting her to discuss her homework.

I don’t think any normal guy in that age gap would be communicating with young girls and when confronted by his girlfriend, he tries to brush it off. If he isn’t flirting with her then he should at least give you a genuine reason as to what he is doing texting a teenager. His behaviour isn’t serious or trustworthy. 

Explain to him how you feel and if he isn’t listening and keeps doing what he is doing, then maybe you can think of option B which is entirely up to you. 

Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship

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He is gone

You know what they say about men, that we are never contented in what we have. That the grass next door is always greener, it is true. You have probably felt too comfortable that you have a boyfriend and forgotten to be as pretty and attractive as you previously were.

You have forgotten what made him happy. This could have caused him to go and look for it elsewhere. Your biggest worry now should be how to see to it that he doesn’t look away and get interested in girls who have a lot to offer.

Look back at the days when he met you, how did you please him? What about you did he like most? Figure it out and rebuild the relationship. You may not be able to compete with an 18-year-old girl but you can remind him of when you two used to be happy. If you can do that, you will not have to worry about 18-year-olds who are probably much prettier than you are.

Dean, 28, is single