I know some of you may wonder why I always talk about celebrities and their lives. It is simply because they do share their life stories which make it easier to refer to when trying to explain certain life situations. Not everyone in your average day life goes around sharing all this information about their lives so why not examine the ones who do open up?

A couple weeks ago, it came out the Miami Heat basketball player Dwayne Wade, Hollywood’s favourite black actress Gabrielle Union’s fiancé, was having a baby, and Ms. Union was not the mother. At one point during 2013 the couple briefly broke up due to scheduling problems and both of their careers at that being very hectic, so while off,    

Dwayne Wade had a relationship with another woman and a couple of months later it was revealed that he is having a child. The interesting fact is that the news came a few days after he proposed to Gabrielle Union.

Anyway, this month, Ms. Union came out in Glamour magazine with her top Dos and Don’ts of dating. There was a lot of snarky comments online about how she is definitely not one to be giving dating advice since she could barely keep her man under control (event though they were on a break) and then she even got back with him and went the step further of getting engaged.

Women across the internet are arguing both sides. Some find it outrageous that she would get back with him and even get engaged knowing that he had a child out of their relationship when they were on a break for a few months while others argue that Gabrielle was very honest with herself and realised that she loved him and wanted to spend her life with him.

In a world where women are taught to be independent and never tolerate bull%@#* from a man, maybe we have become hyper-sensitive and not really rational. Gabrielle decided to forgive her partner because she realised they were stronger than the situation they were in and would be able to handle it like mature adults.

We have become a society that criticises each other very harshly without knowing the full situation someone is in. People were harsh telling her she is the last person to give advice. Well technically she has gotten back with him and even planning a wedding with him so clearly she is doing something. They both realised that their careers would always be busy so they might as well learn how to make it work instead of breaking up.

As a young Rwandan woman, I know a thing or two about getting judged and I think I have expressed some of these judgements on this very platform whether it’s about my age, hairstyle, career, job, weight etc, people have felt the need to share their harsh opinions with me about things that I can or cannot change. I always wish I can tell them not to throw stones when they live in a glass house. You cannot be judging others unless your life is perfect because everyone has made their mistakes. Own those mistakes and do not let others define you.

So 21st century ladies, is there a mistake in your past that people define you by or take it and discredit you for?