My boyfriend of four years left me and it’s been a month now since we separated. I miss him so much. I lost my job about three months ago and from that day, we argued and bickered. He was not patient with me or helpful at all.

One day he just came home and told me that he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me. I was shocked and cried. But I accepted and let him go. Strangely, the first week, he called me so many times but I never answered and the second week, he called me three times and I still didn’t answer. But this past week, I went to see him at his job to give him back the stuff that he left at my house and he kept looking at me.

When I gave him the letter that I wrote expressing myself and the pain he left me, he cried. We talked for about 20 minutes and he that he missed me and had made a mistake. But this is the second time that he has left me in two years. What should I do?

Catherine, 32

Don’t listen to him. Run!!!

At 32 you must have grown enough to realise that vulnerable creatures are at times attractive. Sorry to say but you are 32, without a job and desperate for love, why won’t a guy who dumped you come looking for you again?

You have proved to be loyal and stuck with him without caring that he leaves you at wish and calls you back when he wishes. You have proved to him that you are willing to forgive and forget the past. With that he can do anything content and you love enough to take him back.

You have been looking for very long at a shut door wishing that it would open that you are beginning to think it is opening. Your faith that all will be well is causing you to be very optimistic about the future when the past shows centrally evidence.

You ain’t getting any younger, take the pain and the tears in stride; you should walk away when you are in good terms as you are now.  

Don’t let your joblessness cause you to get back to your previous mistake. You would be a fool to listen to him. All the best as you begin the new year ahead.

Collins, 26, is married

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Find out why he bails on you

Before you rush into getting back, I think it’s wise that you first understand what’s going on inside his head. He clearly loves you but, in his mind, the problems that exist between you are not simple. At least for now that’s seems to be the case.

There are clearly problems because this is the second time he is leaving you.  He seems like he is not good at communicating; he just gets up and leaves and then comes back again with sad tales of missing you?

He might not be bad per se but he has got to give you more than ‘I miss you’. Ask him to explain both breakups to you and thereafter, tell him to mention why he wants to get back together. That’s the least he can do.

If he’s like some men, then he doesn’t have a clue on how to listen to you or understand your feelings. He upsets you and worms his way back into your life because he knows you will take him back. Don’t wait for the next heartbreak; find out now why he keeps running!

Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship

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Move on already!

I don’t know if you are slow or simply blinded by love. The man has dumped you twice without so much as an explanation and left you hurting. He comes back and still doesn’t explain to you why he left to begin with but merely says he missed you and that is enough?

Sounds to me like you already know what to do – you are going to take him back. And sorry for what I am about to say next but you are a fool. I think he gets bored, breaks up with you then goes looking for another but when he can’t find one, he comes back to you because he knows you are there.

Wake up and smell the coffee love. This guy is taking you for a ride…jump off now while you still can or he will one day dump you so hard, you will not have the strength to get up. It’s only a matter of time.

Martin, 29, is single